Servers Can’t Stand When You Do This
Eating at a restaurant is supposed to be a relaxing escape, but for the person carrying your tray, it can sometimes feel like an obstacle course. While most servers are pros at keeping a smile on their faces, there are certain habits that can make their shift much more difficult than it needs to be. With that in mind, here are 20 behaviors you might think are harmless, but your server definitely feels differently.
1. Ordering One Item at a Time
Asking for your side of ranch, watching your server walk away, then calling them back for a refill of soda is like making them run a marathon. They’ll be able to serve you so much quicker if you stop to think through your meal for thirty seconds while they’re walking away. Your server will appreciate being able to knock out your entire list in one trip.
2. Moving the Table Settings
When you slide your table up to the person next to you without asking or move chairs around, you may be blocking a server’s main path to the kitchen. Waiters tend to design their sections a certain way so they can work efficiently. So don’t move anything without permission from the host or server first.
3. Staying Way Past Closing Time
You’ve had a few drinks and don’t want to stop your conversation with friends, but your server can’t actually close until you leave. Even if you’ve paid your bill! Sitting at the table for another hour keeps your waiter from doing their final side work before they clock out.
4. Neglecting to Read the Menu
Asking your server to list every single draft beer or salad dressing when they’re already clearly printed right in front of you can be a major time-sink. They’re happy to give recommendations, but reciting the entire menu takes them away from other guests who might be waiting for their checks. Take a quick moment to browse the options yourself before waving them over to take your final order.
5. Letting Kids Run Wild
While dining out is not a playground, it is a place for families. Servers shouldn’t have to watch your toddler run between tables while they’re trying to balance hot plates. More than once, we’ve seen servers collide with runaway kids sprinting for the restrooms.
6. Splitting the Check Late
If you have a large group, telling your server that everyone needs a separate bill only after they’ve already printed a single one creates a massive headache. It’s much easier for the computer system if they know to keep things separate from the very beginning of the meal. Mentioning your payment preferences right when you sit down saves a ton of time.
7. Touching the Server to Get Attention
There is never a reason to grab a server’s arm or tap them on the shoulder to ask for a napkin or the bill. This can be incredibly startling for someone who is focusing on balancing drinks or navigating a crowded room.
A simple wave or catching their eye as they pass by is the most respectful and effective way to get the assistance you need.
8. Ignoring the Greeting
When a server approaches your table to introduce themselves and you immediately bark out "water with lemon," it sets a pretty cold tone for the rest of the meal. A quick "hi, how are you"? takes almost no effort and makes the person serving you feel like a human being rather than a vending machine.
9. Camping Out During a Rush
Sitting at a table for hours after you've finished eating during the Friday night dinner rush directly affects your server's income. Since they rely on turning tables to make tips, your long conversation is essentially preventing them from serving new paying guests. If the lobby is full of people waiting to eat, it’s polite to wrap things up so the next group can enjoy their meal.
10. Placing Trash in Your Drinks
If you shove leftover napkins, plastic stirrer wrappers, or sauce packets into your mostly-full fountain drink, somebody has to clean that nasty mess out. Either your server will need to fish it out later or your cup will have to go through the dishwashing cycle with its contents still inside. Pour your trash onto your plate or the table itself instead.
11. Changing Your Mind Mid-Order
Your server walks away to put your order into the kitchen’s computer. On their way back to the table, you realize you want something else. Those three seconds you took to decide between the fish and the chicken cost your server time and possibly made the chef angry.
12. Failing to Supervise the Buffet
If you’re at a place with a self-serve station, using your hands instead of the provided tongs is a major health code violation that the staff then has to fix. Servers have to monitor these areas closely. And seeing a guest disregard hygiene rules means they have to swap out entire containers of food.
13. Whistling or Snapping Your Fingers
Treating a server like they’re a pet by whistling or snapping to get them to come over is widely considered one of the most disrespectful things a diner can do. Most professionals are constantly scanning the room and will be with you as soon as they’re finished with their current task. Patience is a virtue in a busy restaurant.
14. Ordering for the Whole Table Unprepared
When you tell the server your group is ready but then spend five minutes debating what appetizers to share, you're holding up the entire section. Your waiter is likely mentally balancing three other tasks that they could have completed while you were still deciding.
Only wave them over when everyone has their mind made up.
Lefteris kallergis on Unsplash
15. Hiding Your Menu While Talking
Talking with your hands is perfectly acceptable, but your server has no way of knowing you’re done chatting and ready to order with your menu wide open. The universal signal for “I’m ready to order” is a closed menu placed at the end of your table. Communication is key in restaurant behavior.
16. Complaining About Prices to the Staff
Prices are set by higher-ups, not your server. If you don’t think your food is worth $18.99 or your cocktails shouldn’t cost that much juice. Say something to a manager when you leave a review, but don’t take it out on your server.
17. Rearranging Dirty Dishes Into Tall Towers
While you might think you're helping by stacking plates into a giant leaning tower, it often makes them much harder and more dangerous for a server to carry. They have a specific way of balancing weight on their arms that your creative stacking might totally ruin. Just leave the dishes where they are.
18. Asking for "The Best Thing"
It’s completely subjective. What’s “the best thing” on the menu to one person may be totally useless to another. Servers will likely direct you towards something that’s popular or expensive, not what they like to eat.
19. Taking Items Off the Tray
Reaching up to grab your drink off a balanced tray can cause the entire thing to tip over and spill on you or the floor.
Servers use a precise center of gravity to keep everything steady, and your sudden movement throws that balance off instantly. It’s always safer to sit back and let them place each item on the table at their own pace.
20. Being Discourteous About Mistakes
Servers are humans with families, friends, and Netflix subscriptions just like you. We’ve all done it though, accidentally given someone the wrong drink or forgotten to ask how they wanted their steak cooked. Don’t bite the hand that feeds you.
