Mourners From Around The World Share Their Inappropriate Funeral Stories

Mourners From Around The World Share Their Inappropriate Funeral Stories

A funeral can be many things. A sombre remembrance, a religious rite, a wake, a celebration of life. But however you've chosen to honor your lost loved one, there are certain things that remain faux pas. The people depicted in these stories below somehow managed to violate every single unwritten rule of respect for the dead.

These are the most inappropriate funeral stories from all around the world, as told by the mourners themselves. Yours with our sympathy.

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40. A revival funeral

At my great aunt’s funeral in rural Missouri. Open casket. Small country church. The pastor says my great aunt’s dying wish was for one more person to embrace the teachings of Jesus Christ and to stand up RIGHT NOW and receive baptism in front of GAWWWD and his congregation.

Everybody’s head swivelled in my direction (except the corpse’s).

Nope. I’ll just stare up at the ceiling for a while guys, thanks.

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39. Great-granddad jokes

My own kids. Boys ages 10 and 8. At their great-grandfather's wake, they got a chair and moved it to the casket and started making his mouth into smiley face. Laughing the whole time.

When me and their grandfather (my father-in-law) saw it, I immediately pulled them away and told them they shouldn't do that. Grandpa laughed and said, "It's fine, he would have really loved that they did that." We later found out that the great-grandfather had asked the funeral home ahead of time to put a sign in his hand that said "thanks for coming" but they refused!

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38. The wrong man died

The funeral home putting a random guy in my grandfather's casket, suit, glasses, and wedding band... while then admitting that they had misplaced my grandfather. I thought that was fairly inappropriate for a funeral.

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37. The funeral singer

At my grandpa's funeral in 2006, a random woman that no one in our family knew, who had clearly been drinking all day, stumbled in and started singing show tunes. Then she wept uncontrollably until the ushers managed to escort her out.



36. A coffin built for two

My aunt literally tried to climb into the coffin with the body at my grandma's funeral. Multiple people had to restrain her as she wailed and clawed at the casket. My sister couldn't go back in after that so we just walked around town. Even worse, aunt lunatic actually had the nerve to be passive-aggressive after that, as if we had ducked out because we had better things to do.

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35. I'm the star of the funeral

At my grandma's funeral, there was a woman that had a really bad relationship with my grandma, but one of my aunts invited her to the funeral.

She started receiving people as if she was a family member and tried to put herself at the center of everything.

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34. I'll remember you now

At a family friend's funeral, a man I allegedly met when I was 3 came up behind me, pulled my head back by placing his hand on my neck, and told me that I might not remember him now but I will someday. That creepy old fart.

I was 20 when that incident happened. It was not only inappropriate but even felt a little predatory.

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33. Not quite an Irish wake

At an open casket wake, a friend of the deceased attempted to give her a drink of single malt. She ended up being forcibly removed as she wouldn't stop and spilled a lot of the drink into the casket. It was as horrible and inappropriate as it was heartbreaking - for everyone.

Someone should have told her the morticians usually wire the deceased's jaws shut to keep the mouth from opening.

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32. Funerals can have a lighter touch

My grandmother's funeral was on her birthday. I purchased "happy birthday" balloons because it was what she would have wanted. I was immediately reprimanded by my mother when I arrived as she forgot it was her birthday. But everyone that knew the family knew that she would have loved it, even my grandfather laughed when I walked in with them.

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31. I really hope she was talking about her eyes...

I was at my then boyfriend's friend's funeral. Her aunt sat with me at the back and told me that she spontaneously lubricates at funerals. Scooched away reeeeaaalll quick.

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30. Nothing says 'class' like screaming about the will

I witnessed the estranged waste case daughter of a family friend come screaming into the visitation looking for her brothers because she had found out she was never written into the will. It was a heck of a scene.

This was in Missouri, which is an affirmative disinheriting state. The will according to brother #1 said she was actively excluded from the official will and entitled to no portion of the estate, named her ex husband a portion of the home sale (Brother #2 bought his father out and kept it), and the remaining estate to both of her sons.

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29. Was your grandpa Kanye West?

My grandfather was always a trickster. He had a great sense of humor. He had this little song he would sing to me, my siblings, and my little cousins where he would just repeat the words “poo poopy doo” over and over. At his funeral, my aunt was telling stories about him and in the middle of her telling a story, my 6 year old cousin screamed “POO POOPY DOO” in front of 50 people. Needless to say it lightened the mood a little bit and made everyone a little happier remembering him in a good way.

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28. Couple of Gollums

Not a funeral but my grandmother was on her death bed. She was going in and out of consciousness. My idiot father and his greedy sister start arguing over who will get her wedding ring. Not for sentimental value but because they wanted to sell it. Anyway, to make a long story short, they took the ring off her hand. When their mother came out of unconsciousness, the first thing she said was, "where is my ring?" Unimaginable scumbags.

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27. The play's the thing

The mother of the deceased putting on a (terribly acted and substance-fueled) play at the funeral about how much she loved and missed her daughter. Shortly thereafter she was convicted of killing her daughter.

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26. The fun in funeral

We had a snowball fight outside the parlor of my pop pop's funeral... Pop pop would have approved. The non-family mourners seemed horrified.

I cannot stand the whole “you have to be sad at funerals” thing. I hope something silly like this happens at my funeral.

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25. Attention babies

My brother-in-law's girlfriend locked her self in a car, cried and screamed threatening to take her own life... AT my father-in-law's funeral. She was fine five minutes later and explained to my in-laws that she did it because she’s not used to not having all the attention. (She thought her being pregnant would make people forget that her boyfriend's father died?)

She got pregnant two months after delivering that child. I didn't even know that was possible. I'm 98% sure she's just having attention babies at this point.

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24. So... who would like to join up?

My best friend died last year from a random heart failure at 25.

The pastor at the funeral went on for about 10 minutes about how we had all killed him because we were sinners and that we should join his church to make amends. He didn't know any of us. It was very uncomfortable.

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23. Which funeral is this again?

At my grandfather's funeral, the stand-in, curmudgeonly pastor kept calling my grandfather by the wrong name.

Pastor: We are here to memorialize the life of John Smith.

Crowd looks confused.

Pastor: John Smith lived a good life. I had never personally met John Smith, but --

My wife, loudly: Well, I've never met John Smith either. His name was Bob White.

Everyone attending burst out laughing.

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22. The funeral crasher

My cousin's funeral - he was 27 years old and killed in a single car crash after he hit a slippery patch on the road and smashed into a concrete wall.

At his funeral, all of his brothers, sisters, and parents sat on the front row at his graveside service. Then, lo and behold, my cousin's ex-girlfriend of over a year shows up and immediately inserts herself on to the front row next to his sisters. And proceeds to scream cry, scream wail, and throw herself on the ground periodically throughout the service. All of the family just gave her awkward stares, no one wanted to address her inappropriate behavior. I had never seen that type of attention demanding drama queen antics before...or since...

By the way, this was a funeral with military honors (Air Force), and they did the gun salute at the gravesite. I don't remember how many times they fired, but at each gunshot, she would literally shriek and collapse into the arms of either of the sisters standing next to her.

I do recall at the very end, the youngest sister was sick of that and just let her fall on the ground. And it was raining heavily and rather muddy.

rhodi-lopez-Cxpqnzd3Psg-unsplash-300x147.jpgPhoto by Rhodi Lopez on Unsplash

21. This book will change your life

My sister's elderly father-in-law found out he had cancer and took his own life so he could die on his own terms. He wasn't one bit religious but her husband (his son) had joined the Mormon Church and decided on his own that the funeral services should be held there.

The Mormon minister, who had never met the deceased, proceeded to hold everyone but me and my spouse captive for well over an hour while he described in minute detail why we should all join his church and become Mormons.

We got up and walked out on the sales pitch after twenty minutes.

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20. Help, I'm alive!

It was a funeral for an uncle I was very distantly related to, and (this is happening in Greece, in the summer), the church is very full and incredibly hot. You can smell the sweat, there's incense, the air isn't circulating, and the priest is just going on and on - I don't think I can describe how grim the situation was.

Not totally unexpectedly therefore, just as the priest is getting to something particularly emotional, a man, an old colleague standing near the back, faints - he's completely out. Now, this guy was very tall and rather broad, so not only was it a miracle that he didn't take out the two tiny old ladies right in front of him, he was also really difficult to carry outside to get some air!

Somebody has the brilliant idea that the pallbearers (those people who carry the casket) should carry him, since they've practiced it and are reasonably strong. So everybody squeezes a bit tighter (nobody wants to leave the church, things just got interesting) to let them through. They pick him up, three on one side and three on the other, i.e. more or less as they would the casket, and start carrying him towards the door.

Suddenly, this guy wakes up, turns his head several times, grasps what's going on and who's carrying him faster than anybody can respond, and immediately starts yelling, "I'M ALIVE! I'M ALIVE! I'M ALIVEEEEEE!" At which point, one of the pallbearers laughs so hard that he drops what was thankfully a leg, and the others struggle to put him down in what is now a church absolutely exploding with laughter.

The whole situation went on for a good fifteen minutes in which this guy walked outside and the priest tried to resume the service, but there absolutely continued to be giggles throughout - I, being a teenager at the time, also couldn't possibly hold it back every time I thought of this guy yelling he's alive!

Nobody was even particularly upset because the uncle we were burying was always laughing and joking around, so it somehow felt appropriate that we had a great laugh at his funeral.

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19. Say cheese!

My ex came back from her grandfather's funeral (I had to work) with family reunion pictures of herself, her siblings, and her parents... posing next to the open casket.

When I casually commented that I thought it was a little off, she explained that they did so because, "Grandma otherwise wouldn't believe he died."

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18. Title fight at a funeral

Picture if you will, two elderly women in a funeral squaring up as people are still crying from the ceremony.

At the lunch after my grandpa’s funeral, his daughter from a previous marriage “Dee” who no one had seen in years showed up. Dee had been writing bad checks all the way to the state prison and had definitely had some unresolved beef with my family when she got out. The last time my mom saw her was when was 11 and Dee left her infant daughter for my mom to babysit and never came back.

Fast forward to the funeral, Dee is acting like it’s a family reunion but no one is having it since she’s basically screwed everyone in the room in one way or another. My grandpa’s last girlfriend, a legally blind woman tried to physically fight her until others stepped in.

After the funeral, Dee tried to steal the car willed to grandpa’s blind boo but my family thought ahead and a couple of my uncles waited around the house until Dee came for the car. They came outside and apparently she was scared off. Blind boo got the car in the end and wrecked it immediately. I can’t make this stuff up.

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17. No one wants your playlist

Was at a the funeral of a priest once. He was so well-liked in the church, not only were there dozens of other priests, but something like two or three bishops. More than half of the people had to stand outside of the church and listen via loudspeaker.

Kind of hard, when the church's next door neighbour plays anti-church and anti-god songs loud enough to hear nothing else. I'm absolutely not religious and usually listen to exactly the same music as well, but holy cow that was inappropriate. Especially because the guy got up at around 8 a.m. on a Sunday, just so he could mess with people.

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16. Funeral field trip

My grandpa died while I was in junior high. I was in drama and he had helped build a lot of the sets for our plays, so I think my mom and teacher worked out that they'd tell the class when the viewing was of they wanted to go.

I'm not sure what happened next, but somehow word got around and something like half my grade showed up, not to the viewing, but to the funeral. There wasn't even enough seating, so you had like 50 teenagers just standing in the back of the chapel. It was the weirdest thing. Especially since most had never even met my grandfather, and I'm pretty sure many didn't even know who I was. Plus none of us could drive at that age, so somehow they all convinced enough of their parents to drive them to a funeral at a mortuary across town in the middle of a school day.

I'm convinced that half my 9th grade class used my grandfather's funeral as an excuse to get out of school for a day.


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15. The mourner in chief

One of my cousin's girlfriends that everyone reeeeeeally disliked ruined multiple funerals. I honestly don't think my cousin even likes her that much, but that's a different issue all together.

Uncle died and she acted like her own father died to all my cousins' faces who were incredibly close with their father and in complete devastation mode.

Grandma died and she did the same, trying to insert herself as the caretaker of everyone. Like, listen lady, read the room. Let me and my mother comfort each other. We do not want your comfort right now, go bother someone else.

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14. Sorry, I have to take this

I'm one of the Marines that has to go present the flag to the next of kin when a service member dies. It's usually old Vietnam and Korea Vets, but sometimes it's a Desert Storm or recent war vet and the mother is there receiving the flag instead of a son or daughter. Point is I've probably been to 45 funerals in the past year.

It's striking how often someone's phone goes off during the service. It seems nearly every other or every third service someone's ring tone starts playing. There have been a few times where someone will get up from their seat and answer the phone too.

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13. This one is on the house

The priest repeatedly referred to my grandmother by the wrong name!!! After the 4th or 5th time my Aunt got up and and quietly told him the correct name. My grandmother had attended church weekly for decades. There was no reason for the priest to not know his parishioner. Needless to say, we did not pay his fee.


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12. What's in a name?

At my brother's best friend's funeral, no one really wanted to get up and say anything about the deceased (not out of disrespect, we're all just awkward folks). So one guy stood up and started talking about how he was such a good guy, always did the right thing, except... he was calling the deceased by my brother's name. It was really uncomfortable.

After he was done, I leaned in to my brother and whispered, "I didn't know you had died."

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11. Thy will be done

My father’s funeral.

After the service and the reception after, my mother, brother, and sister headed back to our family home. A bunch of my father’s siblings and their family were also staying at the house with us. We got home a few minutes before everyone else.

I was sitting at a table in the living room when I could see their cars come down the driveway. They all got out and were hugging and seemingly congratulating each other. The reception after the service was beautifully put together, and was actually a fun time. A fitting send off for my father. So I assumed they were still just having fun from that. Until they came inside.

They all came in together very quickly, and quietly. They came up to me and my older brother sitting at the table, and kind of crowded around like a bunch of kids, about to see if they could have a cookie before dinner. My aunt Barbara smugly stood at the front and asked, “so when are we going to be doing the reading of the will to see what was left to us all?”

My brother and I just looked at each other for a few moments before we turned to them to say, “are you kidding? Reading of the will? Like a soap opera? There is no reading of the will. Everything that belonged to my father now just belongs to my mother!”

The look of defeat, but not shame, was disgustingly transparent. They were supposed to stay another few nights. They packed up and left that afternoon.

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10. First words, last rites

My little boy said his first word during the moment of silence at a funeral... Greeeeeeeat time to drop a toy and clearly say a profanity that rhymes with “split!” In context, right??

Ripples of laughter went through the hall, like 200 people were at this funeral. Not a single person scowled or told me off, and one older lady came up to me and said, “You can be assured she would have laughed the loudest... she probably still is, that was quite the chuckle we all got!”

Special thanks to my oilfield husband and my father for their chronic use of said word that led to this moment with my eldest loin fruit.

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9. Simply unbelievable

The lady who convinced my mother to quit her chemo treatments and use essential oils to treat her cancer instead was there handing out business cards at her funeral.

I gave her the evil eye, refused her card, and walked away. Told her I don’t want it and told some others in earshot that my mother didn’t last very long on the essential oils. Being a funeral, fighting would not have been okay even though she was being entirely inappropriate. I’m already the black sheep of the family.

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8. Engagement at a funeral

A marriage proposal to the recently widowed. She accepted.

I know this is a thing in some families where if a guy dies, a single, male, relative, of the deceased, will end up marrying the widow. Why this is a thing, I dunno, but know it is. So, the divorced brother proposed to his deceased, brother's wife and she said yes. I doubt there was any cheating going on there. The two are still happily married as well.

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7. Daaaaaaaaaaarling

A narcissistic family member arrived late (after everyone else was at the graveside for the burial, and probably lurking behind a tomb to pick the perfect time after the priest had just started talking), wearing an enormous hat and sunglasses and low cut gown like she was attending the Golden Globes red carpet or something, and loudly making an absolute scene of how devasted she was, daaaaaarlings and just generally making it all about her.

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6. Who hooks up at a funeral?!

A relative of my husband died.

There was a gathering at her house after the funeral, hosted by her husband. It was mostly family of my husband, but there were a few friends. There was catered food and drink and people were just general socializing and telling nice stories about the deceased.

About two hours in, a man and woman in their mid-20's show up. They are acquaintances of the widower. They walk around the house a bit, grab a drink and then disappear.

I was asked to get some more drinks from the garage, which was off the kitchen. I opened the door and stepped into the garage.

There was the young couple, leaning against a car and engaging in some pretty vigorous relations.

Another family member who was standing in the kitchen saw what I saw. I backed out of the garage because I was fairly embarrassed. I mean, who does that at a funeral?

I guess the other relative told the widower because the next thing I know there is shouting from the garage and the widower is telling these two people in no uncertain terms that they needed to leave.

Only a few people who were at the gathering found out what happened, thank goodness.

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5. Fire and brimstone

I've witnessed the planning of a funeral where the 3 ladies planning it - the daughter, sister and niece of the deceased - were cackling like witches over how they were going to turn his funeral in to a "Come to Jesus" meeting.

He would not have wanted his funeral turned into a sermon, he didn't even want it in a church - but they "knew better" and disregarded his wishes completely to turn it into the guilt trip of the century . . .all because he was gay, and they knew many of the people showing up would also be gay.

They told the funeral director, who already had instructions to have a small ceremony at the funeral home, that his location was not big enough and would need to be moved to a bigger space, for which they already conveniently had their family's large Southern Baptist church reserved. They were hoping that moving it to the church would actually discourage "all those gay people from showing up", because they really didn't want any of them there - but they also wanted to make sure that the ones that did show up received a "stern warning" about their "sin" and the "error or their ways."

They got the most "fire and brimstone" Southern Baptist preacher they could find to conduct the ceremony, and without actually saying "marriage is one man and one women" or quoting the "man shall not layeth with another man" verse from the bible, he managed to pick and choose all the "right" verses to make sure nobody was confused about "the message" ... at a funeral... for a gay man.

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4. Always be grinding

Need to preface this with a little information on a regional thing from where I am. I live in Northwest Ontario and we have these events called 'shags'. It is a combination stag and shower for couples getting married. You sell admission tickets (2 for $5) They take place in halls and guests buy drinks, tickets for prizes, etc. The money raised goes to help the couple start their lives together. And full disclosure they are a good time.

So on to my actual story...

My grandmother was on her deathbed at the hospital. Extended family was coming and going to say their goodbyes. My dad's cousin came by and did the usual 'I'm sorry...thoughts are with you...etc.' Sadness all around.

Then this cousin of my dad's starts to ask everyone if they want to buy tickets to his upcoming shag. We are in her hospital room, watching her slowly die and this moron (who is in his 50's and wayyyy past the acceptable age to even be holding a shag) is asking people to buy tickets off him. Idiot didn't take the hints when everyone kept saying, 'No, not right now.' Just kept asking.

I am not a violent man, but at that point I was as close as I have ever been to cold cocking someone.

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3. The selling point is the track suits

This was inadvertently inappropriate and kind of a funny story that happened at my friend's dad's funeral. His dad had just died of cancer after fighting for a few years and me and another friend went to funeral to pay our respects and be there for the family.

We got there a little early and met up with my friend, his girlfriend and his brother/girlfriend in the church's entryway. There was a wedding finishing up in there so we had to wait and we just stood there waiting to set things up. The wedding finally lets out and we see the guests rolling out, followed by the wedding party. All of the bridesmaids and groomsmen were dressed in full Adidas tracksuits and sneakers.

Then the bride and groom make their appearance and she is wearing a pink wedding dress with a pair of Adidas and a track jacket over the dress. The groom is wearing a white Adidas track suit with a matching hat. They both walk out hand in hand doing the c-walk dance and trying to hand us these party poppers, which we politely declined. I think they saw the memorial posters and realized that we were there for a funeral because they stopped dancing, straightened up, and hurried outside.

I looked at my friend and we couldn't help but laugh at the situation. Those people were doing their thing and having fun and it certainly lightened the mood of a very sad day, which is what his dad would have wanted.


2. Funerals aren't supposed to be political

My Grandmother spent the last decade and a half of her life in a nursing home with severe Alzheimer's and depression after being kicked out of two other places previously for trying to end her own life. Her last years were of weary terror, not remembering her children that would visit when they could and would ask only where her Mother was and breaking down in tears when she inevitably realized what was going on, as little as she could. She lived mostly as a result of modern pharmacology and medical science with little to no quality of life.

Before she passed she'd agreed to have a Priest from the church she grew up in come in and say a few words. Keep in mind this arrangement was made nearly 15 years before she passed.

On the day of her funeral the big news story was the court battle over Terry Schaivo and the right of family to keep her on life support versus her husbands wishes desires to remove her from it. For those that don't remember the church got involved and made a major thing about how taking her off life support was akin to a crime.

Feeling the need to opine on this, the Priest, who had never met her and knew nothing about her, took the cue and spent ten minutes talking about how life support is part of God's plan and removing people from it is sinful and that the concept of euthanasia was legalizing mass homicide.

The room was a level of deafening silence, as no one could believe what words had just been spoken, what concepts had been advocated, what disconnect from the situation had been demonstrated. A man of the cloth was supposed to be there to comfort us in a time of distress and had, instead, insisted that the decades of pain and suffering of this poor woman were righteous and God's will, and how dare anyone should question whether mercy should have been granted to her.

Never have I had to restrain myself more from getting up and physically removing someone from a room. When he was done I stood up ready to go after him and felt my Father's hand on my shoulder. "Let me handle this" was all he said and walked up to the Priest and lead him out. All I remember is hearing the Priest say something to the effect of "Is there a problem? There's still more I'm supposed to do," as he was being almost lifted off the floor by his arm and escorted out a door as my Mom wept. The only thing I could think of was that she was denied the ability to have any dignity in her death and was now being deprived it even after her passing.

A short while later her casket was lowered into the ground next to her husband who had passed 30 years before her. It was done without incident and without the Priest.

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1. Tales from an industry insider

Oh god. My time to shine. Former mortuary industry worker.

The worst is hard to call because I’ve seen a lot. Some honourable mentions:

-A rando walking on off the street and proceeding to help herself to coffee and ODing in our bathroom. Didn’t die. Did get narcan’d.

-A couple fooling around in the urn/casket showroom during the viewing.

-An angry old woman storming out of the bathroom with a fistful of sanitary napkins, screaming about how inappropriate we were for keeping them in there, because “THERE ARE CHILDREN HERE!!” She threw them at the funeral director’s face. They were kept in a cabinet, in a small basket, well hidden from public view. She was definitely rifiling around to have found them. We were no longer allowed to keep our sanitary products in the restrooms after this.

-A grief-stricken mother tipping her son’s casket while wailing and trying to climb inside. Less inappropriate than it was terribly sad.

-Caught a junkie relative digging deep into the pockets of the deceased looking for, the family and is assumed, money.

-A woman pulling down her child’s pants and letting him crap in a potted plant.

-Tons of brawls. Lots of drinking. Biker funerals were INSANE. The women were meaner than the men and fighting one another constantly. The dudes were awesome though. Super respectful, cleaned the place up perfectly, and even hauled their trash away. Most of which was bags of cans and bottles. I loved biker funerals.

victoria-kure-wu-zJLzr95zE_k-unsplash-300x225.jpgPhoto by Victoria Kure-Wu on Unsplash