My dad had an allergic reaction to shrimp cocktail before dinner and his face blew up. He refused to come out of the kitchen or sit at the table with us. He was just eating his food in the kitchen and trying to act like things were normal, like yelling out, “Hey, good mashed potatoes this year, huh?”

Meanwhile, my mom is anger-crying at the table, telling us to just eat our freaking food that she worked all day on. All of us kids are just very scared and very confused. My sister starts crying because things are so weird and no one wants to eat because there is so much tension.

Eventually, my mom convinces my dad that she needs to take him to the ER. My high school senior-aged brother took the bottle of vino and shared it with seventh grade me -- my first time. It ended predictably. My parents came home to me throwing up on the bathroom floor.

I was around 5-6 years old. Us kids were playing hide-n-seek and I hid way in the back of Grandma's closet. While I was hiding back there, I found this beautiful deep red robe. I assumed it belonged to my grandfather who died just after I was born. I tried it on and it was huge on me but the silk felt really smooth and cool, so I decided to go ask my grandma if I could have it to grow into.

Turns out granddad was a Grand Dragon in the Carolina klan and it was his ceremonial robe. The family members who didn't know about this already were highly upset, while the ones who knew were incredibly embarrassed. There was a small riot when I walked into the kitchen wearing it.

That was an awkward Thanksgiving

A family friend, who happened to be a lesbian, thought it would be a good idea to carry at least 20 plates across the living room. As one could expect, she dropped all of the plates onto the floor. Then my grandfather, who barely knows this friend says the most infamous words in our family's history: “You know those lesbians. Slippery fingers.”

I was probably six or seven at the time. My mom’s candles caught the kitchen curtains and some decorative greenery on fire. My sister and my cousins and I were at the “kid’s table” in the kitchen while the adults were in the dining room, so no one of significance noticed anything except me.

My mom threatened us with pain of death if we annoyed the adults during dinner, so I quietly walked to the dining room and stood silently for a minute or two, until someone noticed me, and only then did I politely say, “Sorry, but the kitchen’s on fire.” My mom still gives me grief about my prioritizing politeness over sense...

I heard some screaming from outside my apartment. I opened the door and saw this lady running to the dumpster with a turkey still in the pan on fire. She threw it into the dumpster which then caught fire. I called 911 so the fire department could put it out.

So 25 years ago my son was born in early November. My mom's family is all prim and proper. So my adopted brother takes my 2-week-old son to check his diaper during dinner. He decides to play a prank. So he comes back with diaper in hand saying it doesn't look right. He proceeds to smell it says something is wrong. So he tasted it. Everyone is flipping out.

Then he laughed and explained he had filled a clean diaper with pumpkin pie filling. It was hilarious.

We left my one aunt in charge of cooking the turkey.

Fast forward a couple of hours and we're all playing cards when someone mentions "...wait, why don't we smell the turkey?" Yep, she completely forgot to turn on the oven and let it sit there for about five hours with no heat.

We had pizza that year.

When I was a little kid, I asked to say the prayer. It was a big honor to get to say it. My family was notorious for fighting so I said my little prayer all nice and cute then ended with a wisecrack: "God please let my family act normal today and not fight." Before I could blink, my German grandmother slapped me across the face really hard which ticked my mother off. Lots of yelling and we left.

One Thanksgiving my older brother took over cooking duties. He had just graduated from culinary school and was an amazing chef. My aunt and cousins came over to find a juicy turkey and amazing sides. She likes her turkey burned apparently and made her family not eat the dinner. They all watched us eat. My mom was so angry they never got invited back to our house for any event for years.

Last Thanksgiving was absolutely the worst. My extended family live in another state, so it was just me and my parents. My mom was angry at my stepdad for various reasons, so she stayed in her room all day.

My stepdad and I awkwardly ate in silence while watching The Godfather. Then after dinner he had a heart attack. He died in the hospital a few days later. My mom was crushed that he was gone, and crushed at how she treated him in their last few days together. That was last year. I'm not excited to see what this year brings.

My mother and grandmother had plans to go to a restaurant last year, my sister convinces them to go somewhere else at the last minute. Of course this means no reservations but sister is convinced that it'll be fine and they might just have to wait a few minutes for a table. I live in another state so I get to experience all of this from a distance.

They end up sitting at the bar while waiting for a table, having a few drinks and appetizers. After the second round of martinis my mother looks over and my grandmother is leaning back in her chair, completely limp and unresponsive. Everyone freaks out, paramedics are called, grandma is rushed to the ER.

I'm 1,200 miles away when my mother calls to tell me what happened. At this point grandma is at the ER, still unresponsive, crazy low blood pressure and high heart rate. I'm ready to book plane tickets and rush to the airport when mom calls back. "Don't worry, everything's OK, your grandmother just got tipsy."

Her blood test came back completely normal except with a BAC of 0.24 (3x legal limit). She was awake now so I got to talk to her and she was crying. "I'm so sorry, I've ruined Thanksgiving." I assured her that she hasn't ruined Thanksgiving, and that everyone is just happy she's OK.

So my grandma is 90 years old, about 4'8", 100lbs. She hadn't eaten anything all day because she knew they were having a big dinner. She also ordered another martini while no one was looking, so the second martini was actually her third. This turned into the perfect storm of party mode grandma.

My oldest sister called another sister "a fat [bleep]" over some stupid fight they’ve been having for years, who then in turn picked up the bowl of green bean casserole and threw it at her. She missed (it wasn’t that far, but I guess she was really angry and that messed up her aim), and it ended up hitting my mother's favorite painting. It wasn’t salvageable.

We all stopped having Thanksgiving with the entire family after that.

I thought it would be a funny prank to put a rubber chicken in the oven on Thanksgiving. My mom would laugh and laugh. Ho ho ho, there's a rubber chicken in the oven, what a gag.

13-year-old me didn't realize that normal adults usually preheat the oven before putting the turkey in.

My brother (10) decides to demonstrate how to properly body slam himself onto a bed to the cousins. Proceeds to hit his head on the windowsill behind the bed and crack his head open. We could see skull. Cousin passes out and the parents only console the kid who passes out. 15 stitches later, we got to eat dinner.

My grandpa and grandma got divorced, and grandpa remarried.

One Thanksgiving, my not-so-well grandpa stood and declared he regretted letting my grandma divorce him, and that it was the biggest mistake of his life. Right in front of his current wife.

What happened next? What did this outburst of drama culminate in? Nothing. He sat back down, old wife chuckled nervously, we continued with speeches (yes this was during the "what are you thankful for?" round about) and all tried to act like it didn't happen.

Everyone was thanking the current wife for taking care of him and everything she does, lots of love, but she was visibly upset/disappointed. Who could possibly blame her?

Someone will say "pass the dinner rolls" in front of my dad and he will pick it up and throw it at them. Every. Single. Year.

You have to specifically say "please hand me the dinner rolls" or you get a bun thrown at your head.

My mother had a complete meltdown moments before our guests arrived. I don't even remember what set her off, but she grabbed the edge of the table and just tipped it right the frig over. Dented the new fridge, food went everywhere..it was a mess. Every dish we were having was now on the carpeted floor, minus the rolls because they were in the oven.

I was maybe 11 or 12 and she demanded that I clean it up NOW. My stepdad grabbed my arm and dragged me to the barn. We sat on straw bales until she calmed down. He told her I was not helping her clean it up. The guests didn't stay. She ruined the holiday for everyone. Typical.

My wife's family lives on a small farm. Like any small farm, they have a barn full of cats that become progressively more inbred with each passing generation.

One year, they (her family, not the cats) decided to get a turkey fryer for Thanksgiving. I personally find the idea appalling, but there's an entire turkey-fryer industry that exists because there are people who refuse to eat anything that hasn't been fried in oil at least once.

A few people went outside to fry the turkey. My wife and I began making bets about which family member would be responsible for inadvertently setting the house on fire. We waited with anxious anticipation for someone to come in screaming that the porch was on fire.

Instead, someone came in and casually said, 'One of the kittens jumped into the fryer.'

We all froze and looked at him. There may have been screams as well. The bearer of this news, though didn't even seem upset.

He was bewildered as to why we were all so horrified. Then he explained that it happened before they turned on the heat. They were able to fish the kitten out and set it loose, no harm done.

We all breathed a sigh of relief.

Then my mother-in-law pointed out that they had basically coated the kitten in delicious oil and set it loose in an area filled with coyotes.

Happy Thanksgiving!

We had just moved to a new state a few months beforehand. My family was trying to make friends in our area, specifically in our church, so they invited pretty much everyone to our house for a thanksgiving potluck and/or thanksgiving dessert. We also had about 3 family units visiting from out of town and staying with us (about 10 extra people).

So, we had a large turnout, especially around dessert time. All was well and good, until someone exited the bathroom and informed my parents the toilet was backed up despite several plunging attempts.

Then someone says it’s happening in our other toilets, nothing is flushing.

So the men get to work. It’s night time, and about ten men are all running over the house doing their MacGyver best to solve the mystery. The Mystery Gang end up outside in our backyard, and are met with wet, mushy grass.

Yep, our septic tank downright exploded on thanksgiving, with about 50 people in our house. At night. With a lot of those 50 people being kids who can’t control their bladders or bowels very well. The only place to go was behind our shed. We quickly set up barriers, one side for men and the other for women.

The party files out (far later than you’d expect after such a hazard occurring) but we still have a lot of people staying the weekend. The septic tank guys can’t make it til mid-day Friday, so we end up destroying the back of the shed with our post feast blowouts by the time the toilets were working.

When I was 16 I got a magic brownie from my dealer. I had never done one before so I was super excited. I decided to eat it before Thanksgiving so I would have a nice time and all this good food to eat.

He warned me that it was strong and to only eat half of it. I ate the half and after like 15 minutes I wasn't feeling anything, so I decided to eat the other half too. I didn't know that with brownies it takes a while to kick in and wasn't instant.

By the time dinner came by I was very out there, like too much for my own comfort. My aunt and uncle were there too along with my little cousin who was like 4 at the time. I was so messed up that I couldn't look at anyone, so I just awkwardly stared at my food and gave one word answers when my family tried to talk to me. It made things incredibly uncomfortable for everyone.

After about 20 minutes I could not take it anymore, so I just picked up my plate and went downstairs to my room. My mom followed me and wanted to know what was wrong with me. I admitted to her that I ate a magic brownie and was incredibly blitzed and asked if she could just leave me alone because I was too stressed to deal with things right now.

She was cool about it and waited until I came down to yell at me about ruining Thanksgiving dinner

Played paintball with my family. My uncle has a receding hairline which left a portion of his head exposed just above his face mask. I took a shot that nailed that portion directly in its center. It was such a perfect shot that it made a circular cut in his scalp which proceeded to bleed. He was fine, but now he has this faint ring of white scar tissue in the center of his head that you can see in the sheen of the light glinting off his head.

Spent all day cleaning the house for the guests. Made sure the windows were incredibly clean and clear.

Little brother and cousin were chasing each other outside. Brother comes running through the door which was clearly open because you couldn’t see the gla- uh oh.

He slammed through the plate glass window and got a massive gash on his face and leg. 80 stitches, plastic surgery, and a multiple day hospital stay.

Don’t clean your windows too well.

Last year my and my housemates lost power the day before Thanksgiving, we knew it wouldn't be back on and thought 'well crap, no turkey.'

I went to Tractor Supply co. bought three big metal trashcans.

fashioned some metal vents to hook up to my small forge (I use it for making tools and sculptures) and baked two turkeys in one of the cans, and the other baked goods in the other two.

Literally Trashy thanksgiving.

My uncle was dating this lady who was super fake and acted like she was faaaamily from the beginning. She kept asking to host a holiday and my mom wanting to be nice said she could have Thanksgiving because that was my mom's holiday to host and she wanted the girlfriend to feel included.

We all go there and the house is filthy. I'm talking big clumps of old dust bunnies right out in the open all over the place, living room, kitchen, hallways, just everywhere. Smells like a garbage can. I have to use the toilet and I go upstairs to where she says it is. Laundry everywhere. But I get to the bathroom and its caked with mold and a mountain of garbage, makeup supplies and just crap piled on one of the two sinks in there. Toilet was white with black gunk caked into the sides. I held my pee.

She also ordered in food and served it to us on styrofoam plates. Not that I need it on nice plates but lady you BEGGED for a holiday and then didn't do any hosting at all.

We never went to her place again.

This Thanksgiving would be special, we invited somewhere around 25 people (normally it would've been 12) and everyone arrived. Naturally, my mother bought a seriously large turkey, and had it slow cooking all day. It was going to be the highlight of the day and everyone was looking forward to it.

Fast forward, the turkey is out of the oven and is being carved. It looks and smells delicious, the table is set.

Everyone's sitting down at the table, passing around mashed potatoes and talking about whatever. My mom is bringing the turkey from the kitchen into the dining room.

She drops the turkey platter. It shatters, turkey and porcelain shards litter the floor.

Thankfully, most of the turkey was salvaged due to the 5 second rule. Some of us had shards of turkey platter on our plates but it wasn't a big deal.

The turkey WAS as good as it promised to be, and it is sometimes mentioned as the legendary floor bird.

My great grandmother died at the table right as we were bowing our heads to pray on Thanksgiving. She had been slowly dwindling in health so the whole family gathered together figuring it was her last Thanksgiving, little did we know how right we were.

Her kids, their kids and their kids kids, family she hasn't seen in years, about 20 people all gathered around with her pushed up in her recliner. Food is stuffed on the table and we bow our heads to pray (she was devoutly religious) before we dig in. As we raise our heads and open our eyes we find great grandma slumped over, just gone.

As someone started compressions and another person called an ambulance, my youngest cousin dug into her meal completely unaffected by the dead body. Anyway, a nice memory for Thanksgiving every year.

Thanksgiving 2009 was a crap storm. My family was visiting my fathers' side for Thanksgiving and things went fine until around dinner.

My cousin comes home with three girls wrapped around him. One of the girls is about 7 months pregnant. So my uncle is all angry and lectures him about making the right choices and some other stuff. Pregnant girl drinks a lot and everyone else joins her to try to relieve some of the tension.

Lots of yelling and fighting occur and my family is just observing this chaos going on. Tears are shed and the pregnant girl leaves with the other girl, leaving one girl with my cousin. They make their way to the bedroom and hooked up.

Ever since that day we have never visited my dad's side of the family for Thanksgiving.

We had all of the food out in the kitchen at my aunt's house. We all were in the living room and heard a commotion. Merle, my cousin's boyfriend's huge yellow lab, had helped himself to the turkey. He had pulled it from the table onto the floor. It has been almost 14 years: I still give Merle the side-eye when we eat around him!

My grandma accidentally poured dish soap on the turkey instead of oil... might have been one of the funniest but most upsetting things I’ve ever seen.

My 4-year-old sister was sitting at the dinner table next to Grandma. After taking a bite of something she said "my tongue hurts" to which Grandma replied, "Well come here and let me kiss it to make it feel better." The moment their lips touched, my sister vomited directly into Grandma's mouth.

My dad bursts into laughter and Grandma passes off my sister while she gets up to go clean up in the bathroom. Not more than 5 seconds after she left, a 2 square foot chunk of the ceiling caved in and fell directly onto her chair.

I invited my girlfriend over for Thanksgiving when I was in high school. We had hooked up for the first time the night before and during dinner she abruptly shouted out, "I'm pregnant! I took a test this morning and it's positive! I told you protection doesn't work!!!"

There was a lot of yelling. I don't remember what all was said, but my older brother knew the night before was our first time and he yelled at her that if she's testing positive it can't be mine. She argued for a minute but once my older relatives realized what had happened they all started calling her a liar and she eventually left. She even switched schools after that, since apparently she was pregnant with someone else's kid.

No matter, though. I've felt like the black sheep at every family get together since and I have heard the story retold every year for the past 16 years.

I have three sisters, all much older, 9, 13 and 15 years older, so they were always far ahead of me in life. They all had families and children etc. well before me. I cannot have children, which they did not know.

We are at the Thanksgiving table and things are tense... because they are frankly nasty and I am just waiting for an insult. They start in on me about not having children, and I say my husband and I are in the process of adopting. My oldest sister says, "That is not really having children."

I punched her.

Don't regret it.

My grandparents had a new oven, and my grandmother had never made a turkey in it before. The turkey drippings somehow caught fire and the kitchen filled up with smoke. We called 911 but by the time the fire department arrived, my dad and grandfather had put out the fire.

So, when the firemen arrived, there was no more fire. They were really nice and understanding. My grandmother was mortified. My sloppy aunt tried hitting on all of the firemen even though she had a good 25-30 years on them. My cousin and I just stood in the front yard drinking in silence, watching it all play out.

Fortunately, the turkey was fine and dinner proceeded normally once everything settled down.

My cousin stole a four-wheeler from a police dispatcher and left it in our yard. Told us he and a buddy would come back later to get it because it was out of gas. Mom sent me to Kroger that morning hoping they had pie shells and called me when I was driving back warning me not to speed because police were all over our road. (We lived on farm a mile long country road. We were the only house on it.)

The police took our statements, retrieved the ATV, and we didn't have chocolate pie because of freaking course Kroger is gonna be out of frozen pie shells at 8AM on Thanksgiving morning, what were you thinking mama?

Two I can think of:

My aunt (several drinks in at the time) knocked over her very full glass into the fresh bowl of nearly 20 lbs of mashed potatoes. She had been the first (and only) one to be served the potatoes. Thanksgiving RUINED.

The year my grandmother passed we were all in the dining room sitting down to dinner. My grandfather said the prayer and as soon as everyone had said ‘amen’ the old grandfather clock in the corner of the room started chiming. Everyone froze. That clock hadn’t worked in years and I’ve never heard it chime since, almost 13 years later.

Thanksgiving at my my aunt and uncle's. My grandparents are there as well. It was in Calgary, AB. We lived in Regina and my grandparents in Kelowna. Pretty close to a full day's drive, especially for a vacationing family.

My cousin was kind of spoiled and a very bratty attention freak. We are at the dinner table and she is sitting in her chair kind of dancing and flailing her arms everywhere while singing. My father says to my grandfather "I'll bet you all the change in my pocket that glass of milk goes flying." My aunt gets pseudo outraged by this and tells my cousin to keep going. Sure enough, milk goes flying. My grandfather reaches into pocket and hands all of his change to my dad.

My cousin immediately starts crying and runs upstairs, my aunt and grandmother chase after her. We sit there in awkward silence for a minute or two and my grandmother comes downstairs and she is burning red. Looks at my uncle (her son) and exclaims, "Keith, your wife just spit in my face, Alfred, we're leaving." They packed their bags, and up and left home to drive 8 hours back to Kelowna and we did the same thing to Regina.

No one spoke to that side of the family for nearly a decade.

Last year my parents were discussing my younger brother, who's in college and wanted to take a gap semester. They were concerned because he already wasn't showing much focus and they were worried that if he took a gap semester then he would never go back.

I tried to reassure them by reminding them that I, like him, really hated college the first time I went, but then I went back a second time and had more drive and focus because the second attempt was based on my own desire to improve myself, rather than just trying to please them.

And my dad very calmly and casually said, "Yeah, well, you're not exactly the role model we want him to emulate."

And that was pretty much the most savage thing my dad ever said to me. Thankfully I had already known for quite some time that I was the black sheep of the family, but to hear him say it so bluntly was unexpected, and I basically stormed out without another word.