People From Around Share Wedding Stories Of Clearly Doomed Marriages

People From Around Share Wedding Stories Of Clearly Doomed Marriages

Have you ever been to a wedding that you just know isn't going to end well? It's a terrible feeling watching people you know make a mistake that you know is going to haunt them for years. But sometimes it's just so obvious that the marriage is doomed from the start that you almost have to laugh. Or at least go online and share the story with everyone else.

Thankfully, that's what these folks decided to do. Here comes the bride!

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55. The unhappiest day of my life

My best friend and his girlfriend. They were from polar opposite sides of the world with the bride some 10,000 miles from home. They were both located in a country that was not where they were born, they did not speak the language and they both were under immense strain. The bride had other issues too that I won't share but that exacerbated the situation.

The wedding was a small and simple affair -- a registry office and a pub lunch, followed by a few drinks with just very close family and a couple of friends. I was taking photographs.

The bride's mood was annoyed at best. Her new husband would put his arm around her and she would push him away. She stated to me she just did not want to be there. More than once she just stared at me in total despair. As a result, he looked despondent at times and almost heartbroken. I didn't think they would see the year out.

15 years later they are still very much together, very much a team and happy. They worked it all out, they learned from each other and they stuck to it. And for me, I couldn't be happier for them.


54. Burn, baby, burn

Well, it wasn't so much only the wedding (though I was the best man at it), it was obvious the whole relationship was doomed when I learned this:

(Important to note, the groom was a hardcore stoner.)

She demanded before they got married that he quit smoking up -- she was strenuously against him doing it.

He had no intention of doing so, but was convinced he could hide it from her (so starting out with a lie, and one that was bound to be found out).

He was horrible at hiding it when he was smoking up.

They were divorced 9 months later after she caught him smoking in his car in the driveway. So stupid, the whole thing. Why people get into these relationships I have no idea.

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53. 'Til whatever do us part

Instead of saying "I do", he said "Eh... I guess..." It didn't last two years.

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52. The vanishing groom

I was at a wedding as a videographer. The bride was really happy and everything but the groom seemed disinterested and bored. Film the ceremony and everything and we need some shots of the guests mingling. My buddy says he hasn't got any footage of the groom and asks if I've seen him. I say no but offer to walk around and look.

I eventually find the groom way down by the lake sitting on a bench and chatting with one of the bridesmaids. They don't notice me, but I see them share a kiss. I mentioned it to my buddy who just shrugged and said we were there to film the wedding so it's not our concern.

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51. Let's place bets

It was my friend's wedding, sadly. Twelve people literally sat at a table at the reception and formed a pool for how long it would last. Shortest guess was 1 month, longest was 2 years. I had 15 months.

The divorce was announced at 2 years, 1 month later. We decided all bets were off.

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50. All this could be yours

I got invited to a wedding of an ex-girlfriend. There was one of those cheesy dollar dance things where the bride and groom shake down the crowd for more money. Fine, I suck it up and dance with the ex for a fiver.

During the dance, she whispers "This should have been you". Freakout time. I left very quickly after that.

Needless to say, they didn't last.

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49. Shotgun wedding with the wrong groom

The bride ugly cried the entire reception until the groom and her mom got into a yelling fight about it. They both made it clear the only reason they got married was because she was pregnant with their second child. The best man (of a different race, it’s relevant...) seemed very jumpy the entire time...

Fast forward to 6 months later, and the baby is clearly biracial. Less than a year after the wedding, the bride and groom are divorced and she’s with the best man.

I feel like I should add that the groom was not unhappy to get a divorce. The general consensus was he was probably as guilty as she was, she just had the misfortune that her infidelity was a lot more obvious.


48. Nothing like building a relationship on a bunch of lies

My wife and I had thought this one couple wouldn't last. The groom gave off a creepy vibe. We gave them 2 years max.

Two years came and they were expecting a baby, so we gave them another few years. A few more years came and another child was on the way. Then about a year later, the crap hit the fan.

Our initial thoughts were correct -- dude was creepy and hiding some sketchy stuff from his past. Lied about a lot of things, like his education. This explains why he always worked the lowest position in their line of work (they both work in the medical field). He claimed he had a degree, which would put him at a much better paying position, but he kept working the bottom tier (practically volunteer) job. Money was a huge issue for them, and she made the bulk of their combined income.

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47. Open mic wedding vows

They wrote their own vows.

His were touching and endearing, about how his life was complete now that he was together with her.

Hers were a bunch of passive-aggressive, corny attempts at jokes. "I promise to never let you win an argument. I promise to never let you watch a football game in peace. I promise to leave the bathroom a mess and yell at you about the toilet seat."

Like why would you take your vows as the chance to do a stand-up routine, and why would you tell jokes ever if you're that bad at it?

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46. You get a divorce, you get a divorce!

My sister and her husband. They met each other in our junior year of high school and she moved in with him halfway through our senior year. I never liked him and did not hide that fact. I especially didn't like him after he hit on me while they were dating. I didn't hide that fact either, but my sister brushed me off.

Before he popped the question, she found out he'd been texting other girls. He promised he'd change.

The wedding was a train wreck, honestly. It was a small affair in our backyard, with her aunt officiating. The aunt started crying midway through the ceremony.

My stepmother read a poem about them she wrote halfway through the ceremony (she always wants to be the center of attention), the groom's sloppy father (who had been barred from the wedding) came stumbling in at some point during the vows to search for a bottle, and I saw the groom grab one of the brides maid's butts. I didn't point that out to my deliriously happy step-sister. I should have.

A year later it turned out the groom had been sexting my stepmom.

My sister somehow forgave both of them. She has low self-esteem.

They got caught again a year after that.

At that point, my dad had divorced my stepmother, so I have been distant from this whole shebang. But my sister (who I do still talk to) finally divorced that scum bag.

Divorce for everyone! Let's pull an Oprah.

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45. Reasons to elope

Bride was on her phone the whole time at the wedding. All her family and friends were there, so who was she texting?

Turns out it was her boss, who was also at the wedding. And if you're thinking they were getting down to some dirty talk you're wrong. The groom, now increasingly paranoid, later found a text sent by his wife during the ceremony which read: "I can't wait to start a family with you."

He found that text whilst on honeymoon. Bear in mind too that this girl had pestered him to propose for ten years, and would cry on nights out because he hadn't yet popped the question. Broke up a month after the ceremony, divorced in three.

Happy ending though. Three years after this happened he gets married again next weekend to a great girl, and his ex is married too now I hear. I suppose even villains deserve a happy ending. I'd love to hear how they covered this whole disaster in the speeches at her second wedding though.

This whole story has also reaffirmed my decision to avoid spending 20 grand to watch people I hate eat quiche. My lady and I will go on holiday, hire a priest and some monkey ushers, then get wasted and come home married.

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44. No choice in the matter

I worked as a receptionist for a conservatory and garden. We were an extremely popular wedding venue 7 days a week year-round. But this is the one that stuck out.

A couple of families came in on a Sunday afternoon during business hours. They were dressed very nicely, but again, was a Sunday, so not all that unusual. There appeared to be a older teen girl, a boy around the same age, their respective parents, and a smattering of grandparents. Looking back on it, with the exception of a couple of the grandmas, everyone looked either ill or angry. Everyone but one of the fathers paid their admission and went inside. The father made it known to me he was still waiting for someone. No big deal.

Well about 10-15 minutes later, in came a priest ! Black robes, white collar, the works. It then occurs to me that all these people must be here to scope it out as a wedding venue. I took the admission, then went to get our on site wedding coordinator, in case the family wanted to see her. I find her, and we start heading towards where I last saw the group. We were floored to see them by our water feature very obviously conducting a wedding! Very obviously a shotgun wedding that the kids had no control over. With the amount of strong arming they got, I doubt they lasted.

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43. It all ended in the cabana

A few years ago I was serving lunch and cocktails poolside at a fancy hotel in Hawaii. Lots of wedding parties, at least 4 or 5 a week during the summer. The bride and her party were having a spa day, and the groom and his men were poolside in a rented cabana. They were hitting on all of us, and on some of the ladies lounging poolside. We kept an eye out in the event we had to cut them off or call security.

Later in the afternoon, we noticed the groom and one attendant (there were only 5 total) were not with the rest of the group playing bocce on the lawn. A glance over at their cabana, and I saw it was zipped up completely. At the end of the night when we were cleaning it out, there were 2 rubber wrappers (no actual rubbers, thank goodness). Whether they were going at it with each other or with a willing not-bride lady or two, I don't know.

But two years later the bride and two of her bridesmaids came back (I remembered her bright red hair) and she didn't have her ring. It's not my place to ask, but I couldn't help but wonder if she found out about the cabana tryst.

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42. Honeymoon for one

Groom got so hammered at the reception he passed out in the honeymoon suite by himself, but not before he latched the door so it couldn't be unlocked from the outside. Seeing the bride kicking the door and hollering at the top of her lungs to be let in at 3 am was not encouraging.

They divorced like two years later.

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41. The marriage scammer

Guy secretly told his whole extended family that it was an open bar. It wasn't and he knew it, the bride's family was paying for everything. Groom's family racked up thousands of dollars worth of drinks.

Dude went on to defraud the bride of $15,000 less than a month later. Was already in the process of amassing that debt in her name before the wedding. Screw that guy.

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40. That's a friendship that lasts 18 years

The groom invited his female friend, she was in the early stages of pregnancy. Towards the end of the night, the bride asked aforementioned friend who the father was. The friend cheerfully said the groom's name.

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39. Wrap it up

My uncle was red faced and screaming at 14-year-old me on his wedding day to make sure I wear rubbers so I don't have to marry some waitress I knocked up.

This was thirty years ago when having children out of wedlock still carried a stigma. I'm sure my grandfather told my uncle to "do the right thing" and marry her. My mother who is older than my uncle got kicked out of the house at 18 for being pregnant with me and I'm sure that influenced my uncle's decision.


38. Too late to turn back

The groom didn't look at the bride once.

It was strange. I'm a musician who used to play loads of weddings, but this wedding took the cake. What made it worse was seeing the bride so happy!

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37. By the time you realize, it's too late

The bride, whom I didn't even know, apparently designated me to help decorate the reception hall prior to the wedding. I went to do so, and her mother was there, telling me in a hushed, scared whisper that I'd better not mess anything up because the bride would be FURIOUS. Everything was to be a certain way, and if it was wrong, there'd be a price to pay.

I gave her the benefit of the doubt (chalked it up to wedding anxiety) and during the reception I tried to chat with her a bit and she literally rolled her eyes at me. I also didn't see her look at the groom once at the wedding or the reception.

They were split less than a year later. Later, the groom confided to me and my husband that the morning of the wedding he'd been filled with an overwhelming feeling of dread and spent several hours just sitting on his lawn, thinking, "I shouldn't do this." But it was paid for, tons of guests were waiting, lots of family (including us) had come in from out of state, and he felt he had to go through with it. Apparently the bride had a history of being awful and controlling. No clue what made him propose to her in the first place.

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36. More like a vinegarmoon

Friend got married. On his honeymoon, his wife went to the spa, he stayed in the room to chill. Housekeeping came, young cute girl, friend paid her for... *ahem* some extra attention. When he got home, he told me about it all proud. Didn't last a year, and he's no longer my friend.

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35. The clock is ticking

The groom's vows: "Dear Bride, we've had our ups and downs -- mostly downs -- "

No, the groom did not call her Bride, I just used that as a filler. I realize this makes it significantly less funny and I'm sorry you are disappointed. But if you're joking about how lousy your relationship is in your wedding vows... I mean, the clock is ticking.

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34. Betting against the house

My cousin (the bride) told us, as she was going from table to table thanking the guests, that she didn't think it would last. We were stunned. They lasted about a year.

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33. Could have just had two honeymoons

We knew the couple was in trouble when they frowned during most of the ceremony and later didn't go on a honeymoon because they couldn't agree on a destination. They had plenty of money -- just no desire to compromise.

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32. She keeps her word

Her vows.

They were friends of mine who dated for nearly two years before their wedding. He loved her more than she loved him, obvious to all our friends, and we suspected she begrudgingly said yes to his proposal.

He said his vows first and went on and on about loving her for the rest of his life. During hers, she started with "438 days... that's how long I've loved you." It seemed sweet until she ended her vows with, "And I promise to love you for at least 438 more." Most thought nothing of it and some friends called me a jerk for saying it was a subconscious sign she wasn't in it for the long haul.

She left him exactly that amount of days after the wedding with a note that said, "I kept my vow to love you for 438 days more, but I can't for a single day more."

Called it.

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31. This might be a record

Groom got caught getting frisky with a bridesmaid. That marriage lasted for about two hours.

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30. A ticking time bomb

A bunch of my family members are betting on how long one of my cousins' marriage would last. It's definitely going to end in divorce, but we just don't know when.

Here's all the stuff that happened:


  • The couple can't even agree on invitation card designs, so they decided each would have their own. Some people received 2 invitations.


  • They're both from different races, and the groom's family insisted on having a wedding ceremony from their culture too. The bride refused the part where she has to kneel before her husband and wash his feet clean. The groom's family insisted and she was stuck doing it.
  • The bride got tired with all the photo taking and refused to pose for any more photographs... even though she hadn't taken photos with the groom's extended family. Meanwhile, she had already taken photos with her entire family, extended family, and parents' friends.
  • The groom's cousin told the bride she walked inelegantly and she spent hours crying and refusing to come out for the wedding dinner.
  • Half the groom's family boycotted the wedding over the bride's race and religion


  • The bride insisted they should fly first class for their honeymoon, the groom insisted it's a waste of money, even though they both come from money. The bride flew first class, the groom stuck to economy.

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29. Get together for the kids

During the ceremony when the priest started asking the bride, "Do you take this man to be your..." she started laughing uncontrollably and couldn't stop. Is was cute for about 10 seconds and then things got real uncomfortable. They lasted a year and change. We all kinda knew the only reason they were getting married was because she got pregnant.

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28. Today is the day we both completely change!

At the rehearsal dinner, the groom's mom is in tears, because "he looks miserable" and he was, we all knew it. During the vows they had written for each other, the bride starts with, "I know I can be a pretty terrible person, and I don't know why you've stuck around, but that's all going to change starting today!"

They were divorced a year later.


27. Straight to the point

The bride had the minister put "Til death, or divorce, do us part" into the ceremony.

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26. That's a very expensive week

They spent $50k on a Disney wedding and the bride spent zero time anywhere near the in-laws for several hours. She ran off a week later. This was over 10 years ago and no one has really heard from her. The most awful part is that the guy was/is such a wonderful person. He just attracts "crazy."


25. We all hate our lives

The groom, groomsmen, groom's friends, groom's father, etc., (all males, just for clarification) kept making "jokes" about being tied down, having a "nagging" wife", the end of being single, not being able to flirt with other women. Basically everything was about how marriage "actually sucks."

This is something I will never understand. If marriage sounds THAT awful to you, why even get married?

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24. Not tears of joy

My cousin's wedding. The groom invited his ex, who was also the mother of his one year old son (he and my cousin had been dating for longer than two years), and my cousin (who was then very pregnant herself) got into a loud screaming match with him over it in a bathroom. They eventually came out and got married, my cousin with puffy red eyes from crying that you can see in every wedding photo that was taken.

The family widely believes that she only married him because she was pregnant herself and that she thought it was better to be married to a cheater than to be a single mother.

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23. I don't

While saying the classic "I do", instead of looking deep into his bride's eyes, the groom was peeking at one of the bridesmaids.

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22. Take this guy to a strip club and he would become a polygamist

At the end of the reception the guys are sitting at a table away from everyone else talking and we ask the groom why he proposed. His answer? "Because she was naked."

Marriage lasted about a year and a half.

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21. Father of the groom

He didn't look me in the eyes during the entire ceremony. He stared at the preacher the whole time. Gave me a kiss on the hand when it was 'time to kiss the bride'. Also, didn't tell me that his father was a pervert that wanted to 'pound me'. (He thought it was normal and okay for his dad to think this about me.)

I just thought it was pretty messed up that when my husband told me this at the wedding reception, he seemed almost excited about it; not ashamed. Not the strangest thing that happened in that marriage but definitely in the top 5.

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20. Why would you tell people?

I was reunited with a family member just before her wedding. We went out drinking, and she proudly pointed out a guy at the bar that she'd just gone on a trip with and had a week long prenup sex romp. She seemed to think I'd think that was naughty and funny. I instead felt sorry for her future husband, but figured it was just a bad choice.

The day of the wedding, I went to see her in the bridal suite. She had the guy from there with her. She had banged him the night before the wedding. They lasted a few years, but it was a miserable few.

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19. You're making money on both ends

I was working at a "wedding factory". On Monday we got a call that a Saturday wedding was cancelled. They were told that they would lose the deposit (around $7,000). Then on Thursday they said it was back on. When the guests arrived every one was really angry. It seems they told everyone was it was off, then two days later that it was on. The ceremony was about 3 min. The bride then changed into sweat pants and then everyone got angry and drank. "Well this won't last long," I thought. Then on the following Monday the bride walked into my (then) wife's divorce attorney's office.

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18. Bet your bottom dollar

The groom looked hammered and the bride seemed incredibly angry. Then there was this woman walking around during the reception placing bets on when they would divorce. I later found out she was the mother of the groom.


17. Save yourself, boy

When the father of the bride told the groom, "How can you marry somebody like her? You are too nice, you deserve better."

Surely enough, the marriage lasted less than 3 years. During the whole time, the wife was doing substances and selling herself to fund her habit.

When the bride's own father tells you to run, you should run.

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16. Dancing in the dark

Our friend was the girl who had spent a whole year setting up for the one day. They had taken 6 months of dancing lessons and she has spent a ridiculous amount of time looking good and dressing up her bridesmaids for the wedding of which my wife was one. So come the night of the wedding, the groom meets up with his old friends and starts to get blackout. He got so hammered he didn't even recognize us, rather just pushing us aside to get to the bathroom.

The worst part was the dance itself. It was really heartbreaking to see them stumble around and watch the panic on her face as he realized he had no idea what was going on. I gave it 6 months at the time, but they ended up 3 years. She ended up marrying another woman.

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15. A wedding arrangement

I'm a wedding planner. Probably the most "WTF?" was a very obviously arranged marriage. Most of the planning was done by the parents, because they were local and the kids were "traveling overseas". Red flag. Day of, we meet the happy couple to be. I'm really bad at judging ages, but she seemed at least old enough to consent. And, I should add, she was gorgeous. Could have been a model. The groom, however, almost a foot shorter than she, very lanky, looked like he was squarely in the middle of an adolescent awkward phase.

My staff and I had difficulty not giving any outward signs that we were very uncomfortable. The body language was perplexing and then just sad during photos. Culturally, its not uncommon for PDA to be kept to a minimum, but the way she leaned away from him and could barely look at him ...She was so obviously miserable.

To this day I regret not offering to help her escape through a bathroom window. I told myself it was not my place to interfere and that I should just shut up and do my job. I will never take another client without a face to face with the bride first. I hope they're not still together.

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14. I'm marrying an entrepreneur

I knew how this marriage would go when the bride tried to tell us that the groom cooking substances in a self-made underground complex beneath his shed in the backyard made him a "self-starting entrepreneur."

And this guy was not Walter White, genius chemist from New Mexico. This was Ricky from Alabama who got his GED at 24.

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13. Till poverty do us part

Minister friend did a wedding once where in the vows the woman wouldn't say "for richer or poorer". Just kept saying "for richer or richer". And she wasn't joking. They didn't last long.


12. What an exhausting two years that must have been

I had a couple come to see me by appointment to plan the music for their church wedding ceremony. They each brought their respective mothers to the planning session.

Right out of the gate, they started arguing over choices for the Processional. The groom-to-be wanted something to show off the full organ whereas the bride-to-be wanted something smaller scaled and gentle. There was no middle ground, no matter what organ pieces I showed them.

Then, of course, their mothers took sides and further intensified their bickering, even though I asked them politely to let the couple choose their own selections.

In the end, it really wasn't about the choice of music. It was about a fundamental crack in the foundation of their soon-to-be marriage: an unwillingness to compromise or to even hear what the other was attempting to convey.

Sadly, their marriage ended in divorce in less than 2 years. How they made it that long I'll never know.

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11. Get me to the church on time

Oh man. The poor bride was 6 months pregnant at the time of the wedding, puking regularly. The groom was 3 hours late to the ceremony. By hour 2, he hadn't even picked up his tux. The venue almost cancelled the reception because the groom's number was the only contact they had and nobody knew what was going on. He finally showed up and everything went as planned, albeit 3 hours later.

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10. Great time to mention that

Event Manager with a caterer. Pregnant maid of honor told the bride's sister that she's been screwing around with the groom and the baby is his. She was dead sober, which is what made it so odd that it came out like that. Needless to say we got to go home early that night.

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9. More money, more problems

I'm not a wedding planner, though I was a wedding guest.

The bride had a father who was mortgaging his home to pay for the wedding. She had been given everything as a child and became accustomed to life on a silver platter. She worked for Christian Dior in makeup sales and there for insisted everything must be designer.

She had a destination wedding that lasted a month at a villa in Italy. More that 50 people flew out and she had designer dresses and accessories for every single planned event for an entire month. There were nonstop events planned. She was the star of everything. Her husband was an afterthought and only beckoned for pictures when her personal photographer reminded her that they should take some together.

The extravagance of the wedding put my estimate at two years tops. They made it about two years, pregnancy likely playing a big part in the longevity of the marriage.

The father of the bride ended up living in the spare room of her condo with her and her new husband because the father of the bride had a wife that was not the bride's mother and the cost of the wedding was so outrageous that they divorced over it. Father of the bride was a sales rep for a medical company, not a millionaire. Bride doesn't care at all because everything is about her and wants she wants regardless of who it harms or affects.

Rule of thumb: the more extravagant the wedding, the more likely they are compensating for a hollow relationship.

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8. The red wedding

I worked the most amazing wedding ever! The marriage didn't last 6 hours! I was bartending for the reception. Everything seemed pretty typical and standard as guests arrived, drank, and conversed. The wedding party arrived and everything seemed to be completely normal. Everyone was happy, having fun, etc.

When it came time for the formalities, the bar closed and everyone took their seats. The speeches began, with the maid of honor, and best man. Everything was going as per usual for a wedding -- until the best man finished his speech and the food began to be served.

The groom grabbed the mic after the best man's toast and wished everyone a great night and a nice meal.

That's when crap hit the fan.

After his well wishes, he asked for the attention of his best man and bride. He told them that he knew they were hooking up behind his back for the entirety of the engagement, and that he would be filing for an annulment on Monday. He thanked everyone for coming, and apologized to the father of the bride saying, "I would have called it off weeks ago, but I figured you would be way more angry at your little princess when you couldn't get out of the bill for the reception."

He turned to his wife and said "[Bleep] you", then turned to his best friend and said, "From what I overheard -- my junk is still bigger than yours"

Mic dropped  -- groom out the door -- absolute chaos. Me and my fellow bartender looked on in amazement. We had to go into the kitchen to laugh and high-five.

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7. Karma came for you

My sister in law. She announced at her wedding, in front of everyone, that her wedding was blessed by God and mine wasn't because she was married in the Catholic Church and I had a civil ceremony. Seven years later and I'm the only one still married.

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6. Money can't buy class

Years ago I was a waitress at a fancy restaurant where we regularly had weddings.

One night we had this massive wedding party. His side were one of those families with loads of money but not an ounce of class. Just rowdy, loud and incredibly rude, making sure to let everyone know how rich they were. She was a quiet, shy girl with a small family full of boring mousy types. As the night progressed his family just got sloppier and louder as hers hid in the corners, visibly annoyed.

At one stage the groom grabbed the microphone, and did a heavily intoxicated version of Frank Sinatra's 'My Way' whilst his whole family cheered him on. Afterwards he turned to his bride and slurred over the speakers: 'Tonight, we will do it MY WAY, wifey!' and then proceeded to make obscene thrusting gestures.

The bride flushed bright red, got up and walked out, her mum on her heels. She didn't come back. The groom stayed and got so trashed his disgusting family had to carry him out at the end of the night.

It was spectacular. They didn't last long.

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5. Shotgun!

It was a shotgun wedding -- they proudly proclaimed it as such. Overheard the bride's mother saying that the bride was such a later bloomer for waiting until 19 to "trap herself a man." The child is three years old and they have been separated (don't know if divorced) since she was 1.

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4. Bridezilla emerges from the sewers

Had a wedding I coordinated where the bride literally went from this sweet, kind and very fun person, to a meltdown-laden bridezilla. It was bad. I knew it wasn't going last the moment she arrived at the venue. She tore up the guest list, and was furious at the groom because his family, most of them either elderly and disabled, weren't at the ceremony yet (they were 5 minutes late, and parking was awful).

So she decided to start the ceremony even though they weren't there yet. The groom had zero say as he was a really quiet guy. During the bridal procession down the aisle, people kept arriving and having to walk down the aisle to get to their seats. She insulted each member of his family as they would enter the venue.

Then, during the actual vows, the groom was so terrified, he literally couldn't look at her. Instead, he did his vows while looking at the minister. She grabbed his face mid-vows, pointed his face to hers, then said, "Do them over...NOW!" Probably the most cringe-worthy moment I've ever seen in my entire career. The guests tried to laugh it off, but we all felt bad for him.

The icing on the cake was during the toast. She decided to talk about his mom...then passive-aggressively insult her... then completely insult the crowd... then her new husband (yes, she was sober). After the dinner, about 75% of the guests just up and left.

There was so much more that happened, but it was a total train wreck. I knew this one wouldn't last. And it didn't. They divorced a few weeks later. How do I know? She stiffed me on payment and kept blaming her now-ex-husband for not having any money and everything that went wrong in their marriage.


3. Body language tells you a lot

I catered weddings for several years, and the subtle sign I always paid attention to was how closely the bride and groom sat next to each other during the speeches, dinner, etc.

The happy couples were always right on top of each other, sharing food, laughing, and just generally chatting. They were in their own world, while the rest of the wedding went on around them.

Other times, the two would be practically on the other side of the table from one another. The groom would spend the whole meal turned away chatting with his groomsmen, while the bride looked the other way staring into space.

Families can be jerks, people party too hard, and nightmares happen, especially as the night progresses. But if you don't care enough to appreciate the presence of your spouse the very first time you sit down next to them, you have no chance once the real world takes over.

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2. Bad grooming

The groom saying the bride looked really chubby in her wedding dress.

The groom making fun of the deaf grandmother.

The groom existing.

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1. Hiding it from mother

I was assisting the event coordinator for a smaller venue. This was a smallish wedding, amazingly nice bride and groom, horrible mother of the groom.

Throughout the evening, the bride kept disappearing to the bathroom with one of her bridesmaids, who told me she was sick. Feeling bad for her, I got her some ginger ale and went to check on her in the bathroom. I hand her the glass, ask her how she is, and she immediately blurts out, "I'm pregnant!" And bursts into tears. Apparently the groom's mom was very against premarital hookups so no one else knew. I felt bad for her. No idea what happened.

adult-baby-babysitter-698878-1-300x200.jpgPhoto by Daria Shevtsova from Pexels