People From Around The World Share 'Don't Tell Your Mother About This' Stories

People From Around The World Share 'Don't Tell Your Mother About This' Stories

We've all had those little moments with our dads, haven't we? Those moments where he has to lean in and say, "Don't tell your mother about this." Whether it's because you scraped a knee or fell in the lake and nearly drowned or just because he let you stay up late and watch a scary movie, we all have stories we don't tell or moms. (Or aren't supposed to!)

Let's take a look at some of the internet's best "don't tell mommy" stories.

girl-1641215-300x200.jpgImage by Daniela Dimitrova from Pixabay

45. The secret anniversary

A female coworker of mine was miserable at work one day. I asked her what was wrong. She told me it was her anniversary, and she knew her husband had forgotten. She had pre-teen girls at home during summer vacation... I knew her home phone number (pre-cell phone era). I called her home phone and one kid picked up. Explained to the kid who I was and that she needed to call Dad at work and remind him it was Mom and Dad's anniversary... and don't tell Mom or Dad I called.

The next day she was all smiles, gosh he DID remember, brought home flowers and took her to dinner. Mission Accomplished. Not a word was ever said about this...

Until 6 years later, when she left the company. She gave me a hug at a farewell luncheon and whispered, "My kids ratted you out. Thank you."

pink-roses-2191636-300x200.jpgImage by Jill Wellington from Pixabay

44. The sugar bugs

One night I was enjoying a small bit of ice cream after my four-year-old daughter went to bed. She came downstairs and 'caught' me. So I offered her a small bite, but since she was supposed to be in bed, I said "don't tell mom." She assured me she wouldn't. My wife wouldn't have cared anyway but it was a fun little game to play.

After she went up to bed and I was down on the couch, she snuck into the master bedroom where mom was resting. She told mom that I had let her have some ice cream, and she was afraid of "sugar bugs" so could she please brush her teeth again.

My wife just laughed at me the next day. Little twirp ratted me out to brush her teeth, something she doesn't like doing anyway.

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43. No sleep

It was a series of moments, and we were crappy at hiding things from mom.

When I was very little, dad worked first shift and mom worked some evenings. Dad liked to watch The Twilight Zone and the like. I enjoyed them too but I would get scared after he put me to bed and they played havoc getting me to sleep. Hence, mom ruled that I was not allowed to watch them anymore.

Every time mom was at work, I would wheedle until dad let me stay up late and watch his shows with him. I would promise that "I'm bigger now, I won't get scared, I'll go right to sleep". And every time, mom would get home from work at 10 PM and I'd still be awake, wide-eyed and scared of the dark.

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42. Daddy was a gamer

One night when I was about 8, after I had gone to bed, my Dad was playing a Nintendo game, Legend of Zelda I think. We had both been playing it but we were stuck.

He finally found a secret passage, paused the game, and came upstairs to wake me up. He told me he figured out where we were stuck, "snuck" me downstairs in a blanket (I'm sure my mom knew), and I got to stay up after midnight on a school night, hiding under a blanket, to see where the hidden passage went.

It was a silly little incident, but very memorable.

nintendo-300x200.jpgPhoto by Jason Leung on Unsplash


41. Get out of ticket free card

My dad and I (around 5 years old) were on our way home from a car show when we were getting followed by the cops. My dad struggled to put on his seatbelt quickly in hopes he wouldn't get a ticket. Unfortunately, we got pulled over. This might have been the first time EVER that I saw a cop this close up let alone speak to one. I was a deer in headlights the whole time.

Well, with a cop on either side of the car, the officer leaned in and asked my dad why he was swerving. That jerk told the cops I was tickling him. The cops looked at me straight in the eyes and asked if this was true.

I was too scared to say anything and just nodded yes. The officers smiled and said, "Never to do that again while your father is driving, ok?" They left without any further words and my dad gave me the lecture of 'don't tell your mom.'

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40. Smuggler's blues

This happened when I was a kid. We forgot my passport during vacation and were already at the border station by the time we noticed. My dad then said that we won't turn back but that he will "figure something out". Turns out he smuggled me successfully across three border crossings without my passport. Before we arrived at home, he told me not to tell my mom about this. I never did.

passport-315266_1280-298x300.jpgImage by PublicDomainPictures from Pixabay

39. Statute of limitations

Dad and I used to rent a movie each week for when mum had dinner with friends. Usually things like Star Trek or action films. One day (I was about 11) he came home with Blade. We got about 10 minutes in and he turns to me and said, "Don't tell your mother about this, let's just say I forgot to get it this week." Of course, I agree.

Fast forward 7ish years, dad blithely drops at the dinner table the fact that we watched Blade when I was about 11. Silly dad thought there was some kind of statute of limitations on this. Oh, no.

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38. Late-night hangouts

When my 3-year-old wakes up in the middle of the night, like maybe 3 times a month, instead of putting her back to sleep I let her stay up and partake in whatever it is I am doing no matter what. Sometimes she falls asleep in minutes and sometimes she stays up with me for a couple of hours.

I think it’s amazing times, I think it may even be dream-like for her by the way she speaks and moves. She has painted with me, heard my books read aloud, watched Lord of the Rings and cooked creme brûlée.

The rule is it’s my time, so if she’s gonna be with me she does what I’m doing just like o do for her all day long. She totally gets it and never makes it about her.

When she gets older, I'll have to remind her "not to tell mom." But for now, it's our special time.

kid-2605810-300x200.jpgImage by StockSnap from Pixabay

37. War and peace

I was in middle school, my father gradually bought computers and monitors for us 4 kids and himself and the 5 of us would play World of Warcraft together for many days and always log off one hour before mom got home. We’d rush to fit all the chores into that one hour. That’s when we had teamwork at its finest. She never knew we all played cause she thought it was the devil.


36. Junk food and profanity

I have always worked in restaurants and get home late nights. On Fridays, I treat myself to takeout. Not just any takeout, the bad stuff... Cheese fries topped with Gyro meat, steak nachos with guac. Always a large, always with a big bottle of pop they sell singly.

When my girls were little they would sneak down late at night and we would munch bad food and watch really bad funny movies with all the swear words in. Don't tell mom!

french-fries-461705-300x200.jpgImage by Hans Braxmeier from Pixabay


35. Partners in crime

Not exactly because we were caught in the act but here we go.

When I was ten years old I was in a head-on car crash with my dad and my little brother. My dad ended up with two shattered feet and he was in a wheelchair after getting out if hospital.

Now my dad did stereotypical dad things around the house before this happened and being stuck in a wheelchair was difficult for him. One day while my mum was out it was just the two of us in the house. Suddenly I'm being called by my dad to go grab the lawnmower and the strimmer. My dad had decided to cut the grass while in his wheelchair.

So ten year old me does as she's told and grabs what needs to be grabbed and plus everything in as told. I move what needs to be moved into the garden but there's one problem, dad can't get into the garden in his chair. The entrance is just too narrow.

So my father, being the reckless and mischievous man that he is, comes up with a plan. He's going to lift himself up using the garden wall, I'm to collapse the chair and move it through and then reopen it so he can sit down. The pressure is on. Little ten year old me is ready to go. He gets himself up and we manage it in one try.

After that, cutting the grass together was fairly simple but by this point, we'd attracted the attention of the neighbours. My neighbour from across the road was frantic when she saw what we were doing. Husbands from other households were joking my dad was making them look bad.

Then, the jig was up. Mum was home. I didn't get into trouble exactly but mum never let us live down

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34. Watch out for the 5-0

When my son was 6, I was playing Grand theft Auto late at night. He wakes up and comes to the living room, tells me he can’t sleep, and asks can he watch me play. I say he can but not to tell his mom and he agrees with a big smile.

Maybe after about an hour, he is playing and I’m watching and helping him. He can’t stop laughing, driving into people, and running from the cops. I was telling him to watch out for the 5-0 and he asks me what that means, so I tell him it’s the cops. He just shrugs and keeps playing.

Now fast forward about a week later and we are all driving in the car. All I hear is a scream of, “Dad watch out it’s the 5-0!” And I absolutely start crying from laughing so hard all while his mother is questioning where he learned that.

He just says “YouTube.” She found out later that I let him play GTA, but I hope the memory of that is as special to him as it is to me.

game-4479445-300x200.jpgImage by SamWilliamsPhoto from Pixabay

33. The big breakfast

When I was in middle school I was the only one willing to go shopping for groceries with my dad. He didn’t want to go alone and my mom was at school studying her master’s. None of my siblings wanted to go with him.

We used to go to Carl’s Jr., have a big breakfast, and then we went grocery shopping. Nobody knew, not even my mom, until years later. He would also let me buy any cereal I wanted. That’s actually how I learned how to buy good fruit and veggies, how to order meat and fish, etc.

When my siblings found out they were angry because “they would’ve gone if a big breakfast was on the menu.” My mom just laughed. Nowadays they sneak out to have breakfast together before going grocery shopping since we’re all grown up.


32. Safety second

In the winter, he would put the toboggan behind the four-wheeler and take us out into the fields and ride around. My mom found out after it tipped and my face got beat up and was bleeding everywhere. Fun.

person-1196498-300x173.jpgImage by Pezibear from Pixabay

31. The power of the mom

I'll speak for my dad here:

He had just gotten a really crappy motorcycle while we were visiting his parents at their farm in a semi-desert area. Note: He's never ridden a motorcycle before AND his youngest brother died in a motorcycle accident.

I remember coming outside in the late afternoon and I saw my dad absolutely covered in scrapes, cuts, and bruises all over his body, but mostly on his legs that had been bare.

I freaked out and he assured me he was fine and explained that he had fallen down a mountain nearby while on this motorcycle.

I don't remember if the bike was salvageable, but I do remember him turning to me, putting on a very serious face, and saying: "Absolutely do not tell your grandmother about this."

Even at like 50, he was that scared of his mother.

black-cruiser-motorcycle-2116475-300x200.jpgPhoto by Stitch Dias from Pexels

30. A literal coverup

I was with my dad and we thought it was a good idea to start a small fire on the porch. The wooden porch. It was made of mostly paper and we made sure to scatter the embers and everything but after we went inside and to bed, the wind must’ve kicked up because we came outside the next day and there was a giant hole burned into the porch.

My dad just told me, "Hey don’t tell your mom, I’ll get it fixed.” He then proceeded to cover it with a small table. She found out anyway and we’re pretty lucky that the house didn’t burn down.

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29. Imagination is so important

When my wife's at work, I will take my daughter (4 years old) out for breakfast, then we will go on a small adventure around a shop of her choice and pretend whatever she wants. Last time we went to a car parts shop and rolled tires around, imagining that we were freeing them from monsters. So far my wife doesn't believe my daughter when she tells her stories of our silly adventures.

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28. Raise the roof

Dad was putting new roof shingles on. I was probably 3 maybe 4. I asked if I could help. He said if I could climb the ladder sure. I was always climbing so that was no issue. Climbed right on up and started handing him shingles.

It would have been a "don't tell your mother" moment had she not come home from grocery shopping. After a quick back and forth of "Where are you?" and "Up here mom!" she figured it out and flipped out. "WHAT IS HE DOING ON THE ROOF?!"

roofline-68277-300x200.jpgImage by JamesDeMers from Pixabay

27. Not the best use of money

Daughter speaking for her father.

In high school, everybody was always busy at work or clubs, so I was the first one in my household to get home nearly every single day. Dad was having money troubles that he didn’t want to disclose to anyone, so he paid me $5 a month to take the bank statement letter from the mailbox and hide it from my stepmom until he got home. It was the closest thing I got to an allowance.

P.S. I had no idea what the “money trouble” was, BTW. I was always the “don’t ask, don’t tell” person, so that’s why he trusted me the most about this.

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26. Reverse psychology

Not a real "don't tell your mother about this" moment, but when I was little, my dad had a workshop in the garage where he'd do woodwork. I'd come out and talk to him while he worked, and he'd let me sit on the car that was parked in the garage. He framed it as something that was so bad and edgy and we couldn't tell my mom, and I was five, so I believed it and felt so cool without actually doing anything wrong or dangerous.


25. Screw the rules

One for my dad.

My dad took me to my first MLB game (God I miss baseball) and told me not to tell my mom.

Later found out it was because the game was a good bit outside of the travel radius set in the custody agreement. They were arguing a lot more than usual at the time so he knew mom would say no if he asked about it. But he really wanted to take me to a game. Told me not to say anything so she couldn't use it against him while trying to take him to family court again.

Luckily I didn't say anything and we got to keep sneaking away to games until the travel radius stopped being a thing. Dad still has the tickets too.

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24. Age inappropriate

When I was younger my dad and I would always go to the movies together, it was our thing. I always looked forward to it. Also, when I was about 11, we would often watch family guy or South Park together; certainly not age-appropriate, but nothing too terrible I don’t think.

However one day he took me to see Team America: World Police when it came out (made by the guys who did South Park). I think he realized his mistake during the puppet hookup scene, and immediately after said, “don’t tell your mom about this”. RIP Dad, love and miss you!



23. Sink or swim

I was at the beach with my dad since I was staying with him for the weekend (divorced parents). We went swimming in the ocean near this rock formation that jutted out of the sea no more than 100m off the shoreline. We went in when it was high tide turning into low tide and we got swept out by a riptide that formed around the rock.

My dad told me he was too tired and old to swim out and was just going to let the current take him and hope it would spit him out. I, a young, strong swimmer, started swimming parallel to the shore for a good 15-20 min straight, according to my dad (felt like hours to me).

I got out and started screaming for help and saying that my dad was still stuck in the ocean. No one could see him and I was so scared he had drowned. Then someone said, "Is that him over there?" and pointed about 200m down the beach. Sure enough, there was my dad walking towards us in his lumo green swim trunks. I ran to him and we met in the middle and fiercely hugged because we had both thought we had lost the other forever.

As we were packing up to leave shortly after, I looked at him and asked, "I don't have to tell Mama about this, do I?" And he snorted in an "Oh dear God no" manner and said: "Please do not tell your mother about this."

Considering I've almost drowned 3 times under and broke my collarbone under my father's care, I can understand his desire to keep this under wraps too.

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22. That's a grownup drink

It was my weekend with my 15-year-old son. We had divorced when he was 10.

We were at a pool party BBQ at my friend's condo complex and I had brought a couple of sodas for him. The dude cooking the chicken overcooked it and was dry, and another friend had pilfered one of the Dr. Peppers so my son needed something to drink. I suggested he go back to the condo and find something in the fridge.

Then he pointed at the plastic pitcher with about a glass left of margarita. I said OK but don't tell your mom. I figured he would just take a mouthful to wash down the food but nope, he pounded the whole thing. I was like OK, well there wasn't that much in there so no biggie.

I said, "Wow, I didn't think you were gonna chug the whole thing!" He was like, "What, is it really strong?" I was like, "Yeah, duh, it's a margarita." He said, "But you guys used to make us kids margaritas when you had people over the house!" I said, "Yeah, ones with just ice and the mixer in the blender, not the adult version!"

Well, next thing you know he's super chatty, actually talking to all my friends like a normal outgoing person instead of his usual teenage introverted small talk.

The problem was it was Sunday and I had to take him back to his mom's that evening. I was planning on getting chewed out about it, or she would find it hilarious -- honestly, it could have gone either way with her. I could never predict how she would take it.

Luckily she was out when we got there and I told him to just go to his room and take a nap. He already fell asleep in the car on the way there. She was none the wiser. I think sometime later he eventually told her about it and she did find it funny after all.

margarita-415360-300x208.jpgImage by Jill Fulton from Pixabay

21. Dads are real people too

In my second year of college, my best friend took his own life. We were all pretty heartbroken, so my mum and dad drove up to be with me. My dad, being a great cook, decided he would cook my roommates/friends and I a nice dinner to bring everyone together during the bleak moment. My dad and I ended up getting tipsy as one tends to do during heartbreaking times.

He got embarrassed at his state, and snuck out the back door and jumped in a cab without saying goodbye. I was upset he disappeared like that, but he also still had the car keys I needed so I could drive my friends and me to the funeral the next day.

I called him and asked him to get out of the cab, and that I would meet him at whatever street corner he was at, which he did. When I found him, he was sitting in the stoop of an apartment building puking and crying. I rolled up and together we staggered home arm in arm.

When we got back to my apartment, he was still embarrassed, so he asked to sleep in the car. I said okay, grabbed him a blanket, Pringles and a Gatorade for midnight munchies. I go back inside and no sooner did I sit down did I get a text from him saying he was cold and wanted to come in.

I went and got him from the car and he was covered in Pringle crumbs. Like. Covered. I dragged him up the sketchy spiral staircase to my apartment and the last thing he said before he went inside and to bed was, "God your stairs are like Hogwarts man. Please don't tell your mother. " And he passed out.

It was the moment I saw my dad as a real person, not just my father. I think a lot of fathers try to be strong and stoic for their kids during hard times, in an attempt to be stable for us. Sharing this heartbreaking moment with him just brought us closer together. I love my dad.

Man cooks a mean Bavette steak.

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20. An unsurprising surprise

This last Christmas my four-year-old helped my wife wrap one of my gifts. It was late so I was working.

The next day, while my wife was at work, she came running through from her bedroom first thing and yelled excitedly, "Daddy! Daddy! I helped wrap your gift it's a surprise it's a slushie maker!"

"Honey that's awesome but you aren't supposed to tell me that"

"I know, I know, but it's a slushie maker!"

"If you know not to tell me then why did you tell me?"

"Because I'm just so excited to make slushies with you!"

I was crying with laughter at this point and told her that it's an awesome gift but to keep gifts secret, and I told her we wouldn't tell mummy so she wouldn't be disappointed that I knew what it was. I ended up telling her that evening because it was just too funny and cute.

adult-birthday-birthday-gift-box-360624-300x210.jpgPhoto by Porapak Apichodilok from Pexels

19. Okay, this one just isn't cool

My dad taught me how to play "throw rocks," a game where you toss a handful of rocks in the air directly above you and run away before they hit you.

I was playing it one day with my cousin and got clunked on the head by a big one and bled all over my face and shirt collar. I went crying to dad and he paid me a dollar and a piece of gum to keep quiet about the throw rocks game and just tell mom my cousin threw it at me.

My relationship with my cousin has been irreversibly damaged since then because I lied on him and he never wanted to talk to me again so we drifted apart.

rocks-1246668-300x200.jpgImage by Free-Photos from Pixabay

18. The rocket launchers

My dad, brother, and I went out to these dunes near where I live with bottle rockets. We each had an empty milk jug and each took like 20 bottle rockets for ammo. Then, we ran around launching bottle rockets at each other. I was the youngest, which made me the hardest to hit, so I won the rocket war. But yeah, mom never found out.

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17. Swearing to secrecy

While building the outdoor play set for my five-year-old, I drilled a screw completely through a board and into my shoe, barely stopping just as the screw broke the skin. I swore right in front of him, something along the lines of, “Mother-bleeping bleep mother bleeper.” We are sworn to secrecy to this day.

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16. The bright side of life

My dad sang "Always Look on the Bright Side of Life" to us once, and we cracked up. So when Mom had a weekend business trip and Dad had to entertain us, he went out and rented Monty Python's Life of Brian. Mind you, he hadn't seen that since it was in theaters, some 18 years earlier.

Dad, at the video store: Hmm, I don't remember this being rated R. Well, I'll be right there with the girls, I can explain anything that's a bit adult.

Dad, after the movie: Kids, it's very important that you don't repeat any of the jokes you've just learned about naked people or private parts, especially not at school... Or to your mother!


15. Taking the bait

My grandpa (he’s a father) took us fishing when my brother and I were 5 and 8. He saw a lure stuck in a tree -- like 50 feet up a cliff face on the other side of the stream and cast after it. Literally got his lure stuck on the same branch as the other lure first try (how?).

He sat us down on the bank, told us in exact words that we were “never allowed to tell grandma about this”, and put his waders on. He waded across the full runoff mountain creek and climbed the bare cliff with full waist-high rubber waders. Retrieved both lures, downclimbed it, came and got us and walked back to grandma cooking us dinner hand in hand.

I told grandma at his funeral. She smiled, cried, and was mad at him. He knew what he was about.

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14. That's not my name

My parents helped me out with rent during college. They’d send me a check every month for $800 which was honestly really nice of them. My mom usually does it but for whatever reason, my dad did it once and spelled my name wrong on the check. Like “Alicia” instead of “Alissa” so it wasn’t just a spelling error but also changed the sound of my name a bit.

I didn’t notice until I was at the bank in line at the teller already and I called my parents. My dad literally said the words “don’t tell your mother about this” and didn’t realize my mom was on the other line. To this day he says he was just distracted and in a rush...

College was over a decade ago but my mom still plays the “at least I didn’t forget what our daughter’s name was” trump card now and then.


13. A mishap at the zoo

One time when I was younger, my dad took me to the zoo while my mom was visiting with my grandparents (so her parents). I had a nasty habit of climbing on anything that looked like it could support a kid's weight - the living room couches and entertainment center, trees, cars, the roof of our house, etc. - how I never got hurt was either a miracle or sheer dumb luck depending on who you ask.

Anyway, I was up to my usual BS when we were at the zoo, walking along the retaining walls of the animal enclosures, and this was well before rational reasoning skills set in and I could have known that these were dangerous animals that would have killed my 7-year-old butt without even thinking about it. To me, they were just the cool animals I saw on the Discovery Channel or in cartoons.

Naturally, it was only a matter of time before I fell into an animal enclosure and my dad looked back to see where I had wandered off to. Around that time he hears some woman scream, "Oh my god, there's a kid in the bear pit!" At least he knew where I was.

Much like the kid that fell in Harambe's pit, I had fallen into a pit of water that I later learned was slightly separated from the bears, but bears being curious animals, they noticed my presence and decided to wander over to check me out. I remember being upset that I was all wet for about five seconds before starting to splash around and then seeing about two or three black bears slowly walking over to me and sniffing me out.

Keep in mind that I lived (and still do live) in central Texas, so there's no bears around for miles; the idea of making yourself seem bigger or fighting back was about as foreign to my young brain as translating the Iliad from its original Greek at the time.

Thankfully by this time, my dad had alerted the zoo staff and from what I was told when I got older and asked about it, a couple of workers distracted the bears with food while another worker grabbed me and got me the heck out of there and back to my dad.

From what I was told, a small crowd had gathered by this point, but thankfully this was before cellphones with cameras were a thing, so I didn't get ripped on by my classmates whenever I went back to school for being an idiot because they saw me on LiveLeak or whatever.

After my dad got a hold of me, dried me off, and read me the riot act, he bought me a bag of cotton candy I had asked for since we didn't get to see the rest of the zoo that day and told me he'd only get it if I promised not to tell mom about the ordeal. I agreed since I wanted the cotton candy, and I think he told my mom that I'd fallen into an artificial pond or something.

Of course, mom found out later anyway, but it's something we all laugh about now since we all kinda share a quirky, sometimes dark sense of humor. So I don't hold anything against him. It was my own stupid fault after all.

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12. Snitching on dad

My dad and I were emptying the car of a half side of beef to the freezer when I noticed that he was having some issues holding the packages and there was a thick bandage peeking out of the cuff of his shirt with some blood on it. I asked him what was wrong with his wrist, to which he replied, "A glass shield on an electric meter shattered at work and slit my wrist. I had to get stitches. Don't tell your mother!"


"I said DONT tell your mother!"

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11. Something's afoot

Saying this in honour of my dad as he is very old and does not internet. He once cut the end of my toe off as a baby cutting my sharp baby nails and my screaming brought in my brother. They joined forces to get me all bandaged up and told my mother I’d banged it into a wall or trapped it in a door or something? My mum found out (and by extension so did I) when I was 10.

A wholesome one: for my mum's 50th birthday he bought her a set of vintage diamond and pearl earrings and a necklace. I helped him choose them out. I’m never allowed to tell her just how much they cost.

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10. Do the Dew

Not a father, but I have a wholesome story of my own dad.

I was born very early, at only four pounds. On top of that, or possibly, as a result, I have a fragile immune system, especially. So when I was young I got seriously sick (fever, vomiting, sore throat, the whole shebang) five times or more a year. I would become so dehydrated from vomiting or get such a high fever that at times, I had to be brought into the emergency room.

As a result, I drank exclusively pedialite hydrating drink to counter that when sick, and I developed a serious distaste and hate for the stuff.

My dad was responsible for bathing me one night to help me cool down, I must have been six or seven at the oldest. We were on a vacation, and I had inconveniently gotten sick while we were staying in a hotel. I'd had a high fever, and my body was so sore and tired I'd slept for 24 hours, no one could wake me up, and I hadn't drank anything in that time.

So my dad put in front of me a very big glass of pedialite and told me I had to finish the whole thing while I sat in the bath. I took it as obediently as I could, but a fourth of the way in, I just felt so miserable and mad that I started sobbing.

My dad had this heartbreaking look on his face, and stroked my hair, near tears himself. It was late, and we were tired, so he wrapped me up in a towel, and put me in bed with him and mom. My dad drinks a lot of Mountain Dew, and he told me that for every three sips of pedialite I get down, I can have a sip of soda to help wash out the bad taste, but don't tell mom.

I never did, and it's one of my favorite memories of me and my dad.


9. Saving face

When we were kids my dad took me and my sister out on a bike ride. My sister had her own bike while I was sat in the kiddie seat on his. At some point, we come to a stop, and I guess my sister was still a little unsteady on her bike because she started wobbling. In a bid to help, my dad leaned over to steady her, so much so that I flipped right out of the seat (in true 90s fashion there was only the single buckle to keep me in) and landed right on the asphalt.

I was fine except for the deep scrapes right across my face and abdomen. It was completely an accident but my dad panicked and told both of us “oh god don’t tell mom” and ushered us home to patch me up.

He caught some flak from mom because he couldn’t hide a face injury especially when it started scabbing over into an ugly mess but he impressively managed to conceal the rest by volunteering to be the one to bathe me and put me to bed every night. It got found out anyway a couple of weeks later when we were playing with an inflatable pool and a family friend was like “goodness what is all that?!”

bicycle-1713165-300x200.jpgImage by Isa KARAKUS from Pixabay

8. A good Dad has your back

This was my dad and not a funny story but made me realize my dad did love me.

My stepmom had started to charge me rent when I turned 18. I accepted as it meant I didn't have to do as many chores and can for the most part be left alone. It was about $200 a month. At the time I was making $9/h which was slightly above minimum wage for my state. I was miserable at the time so I saved up to get a refurbished Xbox One to play games and I asked my dad if I could just use the small TV in the guest bedroom in my room. This was a TV no one used. He said he will think about (which meant he had to ask the overlord).

A couple of days later he said that I can but she wanted to add $25 a month to my "rent" to use it. I broke down. I told him that I was saving up to try and leave and she is the reason my sister left. He then said it's okay, you are paying rent. He didn't make me pay the extra 25 and it turned out that he saved the money I paid for rent and gave it to me for my deposit on my 1st apartment. It was a "we won't tell your step-mother about this" and made our relationship a little bit better.

It's not a grand or funny story but I resented him up until that moment and he started to defend me more in arguments against her after my sister left. Also, they are now divorced so... small win.

money-652560_1280-300x250.jpgImage by HeatherPaque from Pixabay

7. There's always money for Waffle House

A story about my father. When I was about 6 or 7 we were really hard up for money at the time, so we cut down on all expenses, saving change, etc. My mom would go out of town for work every other weekend.

My dad would save up a few dollars over the weeks, take me to Waffle House for breakfast, go on a walk on the beach, then take me home and let me play the I Spy computer game on his work computer. He would always teasingly tell me not to tell mom about Waffle House. I don’t think she would have been mad but it was fun to have something just the 2 of us would do together. I love my dad.

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6. Don't ask about the money

My parents always had money problems. Dad saw an amazing investment opportunity and said he was going to buy it without consultation. Told me not to tell. He kept it for 3 years, worked on it and flipped it for a double what he bought it for, so it worked out.

But during those 3 years, he had me fudge the numbers every time mom asked (because he was paying the repayments on it with me tagging along all the time).

Mom also hated his sisters. So every time we went out to my aunts' places, he would make me lie to her if she asked. It got so normal that by the time I was in my teens, he didn't even need to. I'd automatically make up a plausible excuse.

Oh, amazing thing dad did but told me to hide it from mom. One cousin was orphaned early on (the dad died, the mom got sick and subsequently died 2 years on), bright kid, absolutely no resources except for scraps from extended family. Her mom was on super bad terms with my mom when she died.

So I can't mention my cousin in the house (also because of tonnes of existing money problems). Dad got cousin a computer, took her shopping for clothes, we'd take her out for ice cream (or treats) once a month or so and every week we'd participate in a roster to pick her or send her to tuition and extracurricular activity. I'm convinced mom still doesn't know.


5. Unleashed

One day very, very long ago when I was young, maybe 12 years old, we were playing in the neighborhood and some dogs were (big rottweilers) roaming free and one of them started chasing us. Managed to get to me and pull me on the ground.

I was super scared. At this time the owner came and got his dogs off me. I am scared witless, white as a blanket, going home crying. My father asked what happened, and when heard the whole story and we went to that spot. He explained to the owner not so politely that next time his gigantic dogs are seen not on a leash - they will be shot on the spot.

Maybe 30 years have passed since, and when I go home to visit the family, sometimes I see this dog-owner, again with the same dog breed, two dogs with him always, but always on a leash.

rottweiler-4415054-300x200.jpgImage by Alexas_Fotos from Pixabay

4. Down the hatch

So, this story was about when my dad told me not to tell my mother about something.

My parents have always been huge exercise buffs, so there was never soda in the house when I was a kid growing up. Unfortunately, my dad had a drinking problem when I was younger, and would sometimes find ways to hide it from my mother.

One day, to my absolute shock, there was a bottle of 7up in the basement fridge. Looking back on it now, just one bottle was pretty odd, but it being there at all was shocking enough for me. So I go into the living room where my dad has company, and I ask him if I can have some 7up. He’s actually confused himself, but tells me, “if you can find some!” Cool!

I go back to the fridge, grab the bottle, and take a drink. After just a little sip, I stopped. It didn’t taste what I remember 7up tasting like. After some hesitation, I took another sip, just to see if I somehow, I don’t know, tasted it wrong I guess? It tasted just as bad, so I put it back in the fridge.

I went back to my dad and told him that something was wrong with the 7up. Now he’s suspicious. “What 7up!?” he asked, as he got up and made his way over to the fridge. He opened the fridge, and to his surprise, saw a 7up bottle sitting there. He grabbed it, opened it up, and smelled it. His eyes widened, as he told me, “don’t tell your mother about this.”

While I didn’t know the taste at the time, I now know it to be Bud. Turned out he went to the bar, ordered drinks and a bottle of soda, dumped the soda, and ordered another drink for the road, but asked them to put it into the soda bottle for him (he knew all of the bartenders). This was so my mom wouldn’t see it in the fridge, and the soda, though unhealthy, could be explained much easier.

He forgot that they filled the bottle with Bud, and he also forgot what soda bottle he got (he doesn’t drink soda) until I drank some of it. Oops!

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3. Is your dad Oprah?

When l was 12 or so I walked into my dad's office to find him counting money. He says don't tell mom and you'll find out what it's for. So I don't say a thing.

Two days later he wakes me up early to run errands with him. We came back with a new (used, but new for us) car. He also said if I don't tell how much he spent on it he'll let me drive it. It was only a couple hundred dollars but we were broke and mom would have been mad.

My mother tried so hard to find out but I kept the secret. So anytime we were in an open space like an empty lot he would let me drive it. I felt like the coolest kid in middle school knowing how to drive a car. Again, don't tell your mother he says. It was our secret thing and I'll cherish those memories forever.

When I got my licence at 16 I was so excited to drive it for real. I ask my mother if I can drive her around when she has to go out but she says absolutely not since I have no experience. Well, I can't argue because I don't wanna get Dad in trouble. This goes on for a few weeks, I keep asking she keeps telling me no.

This finally happened one day while dad was home and overheard. He comes in the room gives me a nod and says to my mother, "She's a better driver than you anyway," tosses me the keys and tells mom everything.

I was so stoked and cheering I can drive! I can drive! Dad says, "Drive it? No. If you can keep a secret for that long you can keep the car too."

Twenty years later it's still one of my favorite memories.

photography-of-red-car-on-asphalt-road-757184-300x200.jpgPhoto by Joshua Köller from Pexels

2. You need to talk to the cat

My dad has passed away so I’ll tell this on his behalf.

My sister was maybe 10 or 11. My dad was very worried and had been waiting all day for us to come home from school. When we got home he pulled her aside saying he needed to have a serious talk with her. He said to her “I was looking for a pencil, and found this in your desk,” and pulled out a plastic baggie filled with some dried plant material.

She said, “Oh, catnip?” He thought it was pot. We would make little cat toys with catnip and the bag had ripped so she put it in a ziplock bag. He sighed a huge sigh of relief and laughed and told her he thought she was getting high and asked her not to tell our mom. He was so embarrassed!

He was an amazing dad. He died a couple of years after this. I wish I could reminisce about that moment with him now as an adult and hear about his perspective. He had a very funny way of telling stories and I’d really love to hear his version.

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1. Halley's comet

Welp, I'm a dad, but I think my best story would be from MY father. He wanted to take us outside of the Scottsdale, AZ city limits to see Halley's comet (it was a huge deal when it came through in the 80s).

We drove about 45 min north of town into a deep desert. We spent some time viewing it, it was rather disappointing, and we heard dogs barking in the distance when we first got there, but they seemed closer. Then closer. It was pitch black, I think we had a flashlight but that was it.

We started heading back to the car, the flashlight was shined at a fence in the distance and about 5 terrifying-looking dogs started right at us. We literally got the doors to the car shut as drooling, snarling, dogs started jumping up to the windows and getting in the bed of the truck.

We peeled out, and don't tell mom about the dogs ok? Your mom's brother was almost killed by dogs when he was little.