Dearly-Departed Drinks
For all things there is a season, and for all sodas there is a shelf-life. While we assume that Coca-Cola, Pepsi & Mountain Dew will endure until the inevitable heat death of the universe, other brands (and flavors) haven't stood the test of time. Here are 10 sodas whose comeback we yearn for and 10 we don't miss at all.
1. Dr. Pepper Red Fusion
DP's first new flavor since the brand's launch, Red Fusion was a blend of cherry, strawberry, and raspberry. The result was a beverage that sorta just tasted like the color red, was a sweeter version of the classic drink with snappy packaging. We applaud DP for creating their first new flavor since 1885 (!!).
2. Surge
Surge's rebellious citrusy flavor tasted like the soda equivalent of a Tony Hawk skateboarding game. Maybe this is nostalgia talking, but Surge also tasted like childhood, like skinned knees and dial-up internet. We miss you everyday, surge.
3. Mountain Dew Thrashed Apple
Mountain Dew brings out and shelves so many new flavors it's hard to keep track of them; even when we know we shouldn't get attached, we do anyway. Thrashed Apple was one such flavor that was only on select shelves for a few years. There's a serious lack of apple-flavored sodas on the market, and this one tasted exactly like green Jolly Ranchers.
4. Sierra Mist
Sierra Mist held on longer than most flavors on this list, lasting from 1999 to 2023; its prevalence makes its absence all the more painful. We made the mistake of getting attached to this lemon-lime soda which, while not too different from Sprite, was just different enough. Starry will never compare.
5. 7UP Gold
Gold was a stark departure from 7UP's brand, not only was the dark-colored cinnamon spice flavor visually different from 7UP's citrusy goodness, it also included caffeine, which 7UP never did. Maybe the world wasn't ready for this apple pie-adjacent soda, which failed to launch in 1988.
6. Dr. Pepper Vanilla Float
Dr. Pepper Vanilla Float wasn't discontinued so much as it was only ever available in certain states in summertime. Called the Holy Grail of sodas, this soda is the perfect blend of creamy and spicy. It probably goes crazy with ice cream.
7. Mello Yello Melon
Despite the name, Mello Yello is known for its buzzy caffeine content, which makes this short-lived flavor all the more noteworthy. There's a serious dearth of melon sodas in the American market and, while we have branched out from the same five fruits, a little experimentation never hurt anyone. The cool, refreshing flavor truly lives up to its name.
8. Faygo Arctic Sun
Don't let the mouthwash packaging fool you, this Faygo fault flavor is nowhere near the mint of Listerine. Rather, it's a unique blend of grapefruit and cherry, two fruits we never thought would play well together—especially as a mixer. This flavor is refreshingly retro.
9. Coca-Cola Starlight
The most recent discontinued flavor on this list, we love Coca-Cola Starlight partially because of the mystery. What exactly does space taste like? Everyone who tried this flavor had a different answer: some said raspberry-mint, others said vanilla cotton candy; Coca-Cola itself said the flavor evoked "stargazing around a campfire".
10. Crystal Pepsi
C'mon, you didn't really think we'd forget about Crytal Pepsi? A cult classic whose crash and burn rivaled Icarus, Crystal Pepsi's clear color and lighter flavor didn't wow buyers at first. However, in the intervening years, Crystal Pepsi has developed a rabid cult following.
Mike Mozart from Funny YouTube, USA on Wikimedia
Now that we've poured one out for our bygone faves, let's take a look at a few that were discontinued for good reasons.
1. Coca-Cola C2
All that classic Coca-Cola taste but with half the calories and carbs, allegedly. C2 was launched in 2004 targeting followers of the Atkins diet. While the overwhelmingly artificial taste scared off some viewers, we think C2's failure came down to marketing: in a pre-Coke Zero market, they tried to appeal to everybody and pleased nobody.
2. Jolt Cola
Jolt is, technically, not discontinued, but it's come back from the dead enough times that we wish it would stay dead. Marketed at stressed students and overworked young professionals, Jolt has always been more of a stimulant than a soda. One can is the caffeine equivalent of multiple Red Bulls; god help you if you're also a coffee drinker.
3. Pepsi Salted Caramel
Who asked for this? Better question, who's responsible for this? Pepsi tried to cash in the salted caramel craze of the 2010s and ended up with a soda that left drinkers confused rather than refreshed. If it were artisanal, we'd probably enjoy it, but the Pepsi branding makes it off-putting.
Aleksandr Burzinskij on Unsplash
4. Mountain Dew Liberty Chill
Who asked for patriotic soda? While the concept itself is a bit cringe, it's the marketing gimmick that was the final nail in this soda's coffin. Billed as 50 flavors in one (one per each state, allegedly), the only thing this tastes like is berry, berry, and more berry.
5. Coca-Cola Lime
Coca-Cola Lime is far from the worst offender on this list and, if rumors are to be believed, is primed for a comeback. However its' failure lies in the fact that the Diet Coke version is far superior. Why fix something that isn't broken?
6. Beverly
The grossest flavor at World of Coca-Cola, Beverly tastes like grapefruit rind and sorrow. Marketed as a non-alcoholic apéritif—an Italian drink designed to stimulate the appetite—Beverly simply didn't find the market it hoped for in America. The dry, bitter flavor was less a palate cleanser and more a triple-dog dare.
7. Pepsi Ice Cucumber
A limited-edition Japanese flavor that kicked the bucket nonetheless, the mild flavor of this beverage didn't even satisfy its target audience. While Americans pumped up with high-fructose corn syrup may not have been open to the mellow and refreshing flavor of Pepsi Ice Cucumber, we're sort of thankful we didn't get a chance to try.
8. Flamin' Hot Mountain Dew
The ultimate gamer fuel, we aren't going to mince our words: Flamin' Hot Mountain Dew is diabolical. This Dew allegedly tasted like heartburn and hurt going in and coming out. One reviewer described the aftertaste as "an electrical fire that's started in the air vents".
9. Jones Turkey & Gravy
We understand that Jones does a lot of novelty and limited-edition flavors, some of which are far worse than this one (see: spider cider), but there's something about this flavor that sends a shiver down our spine just typing it. Sure, we aren't immune to drinking the last dregs of gravy, but the idea of turkey-flavored soda is simply too much.
10. Pepsi Fire
Remember when the Cinnamon Challenge was a thing and middle schoolers risked ambulance rides for a few likes on YouTube? Imagine that in liquid form with Pepsi. This flavor tasted like a sunburn and was bafflingly released in summer rather than winter, when it might have thrived.
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