Does the Colonel Have What It Takes?
KFC still has plenty of loyal fans, and though we count ourselves among them, the colonel only manages to get a couple of things right. As for everything else on his menu? It’s up in the air at best, or slammed into our compost bins at worst. With that, we’re here to go over a few items that don’t deserve your hard-earned money, and the delicious ones that do.
1. Corn
You don’t go to KFC expecting farm-to-table vegetables, but we’re still annoyed by how little effort this side puts into its styrofoam tub. Complaints always circle the same points: it’s bland, watery, underseasoned, and so boring that you could do the same thing at home for less money.
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2. Chicken Tenders
For a chain built on fried chicken, you’d think tenders would be a safe bet—but not at the colonel’s. Between the dry meat and tough texture, those skimpy portions only add to our upset. (If you catch them on a really bad day, they'll just taste like grease.) And don’t even get us started on the prices.
3. Chicken Sandwich
Once again, you’d think you were safe ordering a classic chicken sandwich from, you know, a chicken place, but this one offers nothing more than soggy buns and frequently cold meat. Not to mention, the flavor you get from a bucket of chicken is way better than whatever they try to stuff between these buns.
4. Coleslaw
Look, we love KFC coleslaw—the neon green one. The one available now is everything we don’t want it to be: too sweet, too soupy, and nowhere near as good as the older version. To make matters worse, the texture itself doesn’t leave much to write home about either.
5. Biscuits
A biscuit should be one of the easiest wins on this menu, which probably explains our disappointment in this air ball. Sometimes the biscuits are stale. Other times, they’re hard or overly dry. If you’re really lucky, you might just run into an overly doughy one that somehow feels undercooked in the middle. Whatever the case, it’s an impressively bad range of possibilities.
6. Chicken Pot Pie
In theory, this should be comfort food done right, but we’re not going to KFC for mama’s home-cooked dishes. Instead, you’re blowing cash on a mushy filling, scarce chicken, and a weird lack of classic flavor. It’s a combination that gives this pie a reputation for being unsettling, not comforting.
7. Mashed Potatoes
KFC’s mashed potatoes suffer the same fate as their other sides: a bland choice you could whip up at home. Call us crazy, but they also seem suspiciously close to instant potatoes, especially once the gravy stops doing all the work.
8. Mac and Cheese
Oh, you thought the chicken pot pie was bad? Say hello to another American classic, one that people are usually pretty forgiving with! But not this time. KFC’s version is really nothing but overcooked noodles, watery sauce, and weak flavor. And given its texture, you know that it’s been sitting too long under heat lamps.
9. The Famous Bowl
The colonel might want to rethink the name of this one! Despite its promises, KFC’s bowl dishes are pretty stingy on ingredients. To make matters worse, they’re often too salty, overly mushy, or weirdly cold. You’re basically paying for cafeteria food.
10. Extra Crispy Chicken
If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it…or, at least, someone should have told the colonel that. While this one still packs all kinds of flavor, the biggest issue is that it’s also loaded with salt and grease. We know that the original recipe isn’t the pinnacle of health either, but this one is far worse for your arteries.
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We know it sounds like KFC has nothing to offer, but that’s not true either! There’s a reason we keep returning to the sweet, greasy bucket, and we’re about to explore why.
1. Original Recipe Chicken
Ah, yes, the fan favorite. Who could blame us? At the end of the day, nothing beats a juicy chicken breast coated with those secret herbs and spices. It’s delicious, it’s nostalgic, and it’s actually still a pretty good deal—even with today’s prices.
2. Dark Meat Chicken
For any poor souls who didn’t know, you can order all-white or all-dark meat in your bucket! If you’re jonesing for thighs or drumsticks, you’ll nab pieces that tend to stay juicier and feel more forgiving than other fast-food chicken. It’s not just about novelty here; it’s also about the flavor!
3. Popcorn Chicken
Say what you want about popcorn chicken, but we can’t get enough of the snackable, salty dish! Okay, it might not boast the same flavor as its original recipe cousin, but it still packs a tasty bite with far less calories. We can also convince ourselves that it’s somehow healthier because it’s smaller, so that’s another win!
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4. Hot & Spicy Wings
Never give up the dream, people! These came back after sustained fan demand, and KFC finally acknowledged how lost it was without the spicy marinade and extra crunch. Of course, there’s also the obvious nostalgia factor, but either way, this one remians one of the easiest crowd-pleasers on the menu.
5. Saucy Nuggets
Nuggets can feel like a throwaway item at some chains, but KFC’s version nailed theirs. They not only relished in hand-breaded white meat, they then doubled down with multiple sauce flavors! Sure, the original nuggets were good enough, but when these saucy guys came in, it was hard not to feel spoiled.
6. The Snacker
The Snacker is another menu item officially brought back in the U.S., and for good reason! Not only is it still cheap and tasty, but after nearly a decade away from our grubby little hands, this sandwich got our mouths watering for all the right reasons.
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7. Potato Wedges
Forget KFC fries—true fans know that potato wedges are an elite menu item we were also deprived of for far too long! They’re delicious, perfectly seasoned, and manage to bring a golden crisp on the outside with fluffy potato on the inside. It’s ten steps above those “spicy” fries we were forced to make due with.
8. Original Fries
That being said, even with wedges back, KFC still kept Secret Recipe Fries on the menu. While we’re not the biggest fans of the so-called spicy ones, their original ones get way too much heat for being a “mediocre” side. They’re not! Okay, yes, they’re quick to go soggy, but when they’re fresh, they hit the spot.
Fernando Martello on Wikimedia
9. Apple Pie Poppers
Dessert isn’t always a reason to stop at KFC, but these little pies have built up a better reputation than you might expect. Over the years, they’ve earned an unexpected credibility that pushes an item into sleeper-hit territory. They’re easy to share, easier to finish, and a lot more memorable than a chain dessert needs to be.
10. Sweet Lightning
Sweet Lightning has a niche following, but it’s a real one, and that’s exactly why it deserves some credit. KFC and Mountain Dew launched it as an exclusive pairing for fried chicken, and it’s actually one of the best current Dew flavors around. If peach soda isn’t your thing, you probably won’t like this very much, but for those who crave the nectar, they can get it here.
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