Tinder Users From Around The World Share Their Nightmare Dates

Tinder Users From Around The World Share Their Nightmare Dates

It's hard to remember the last time you heard Tinder brought up in a conversation with a positive connotation. The dating/hook-up app seems to have brought nothing but horror to singles ready to mingle around the world. Finding your soulmate, or even a decent relationship, though it is definitely a rarity.

But you obviously didn't come here to read gushy tales of love, right? We're taking a look at some of the most horrific tales coming from this popular dating app.

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48. One More Song

It was last year. I'd just moved back home. All my friends from high school were gone and I had no friends left. I went on a Tinder date with a girl across town. I was supposed to meet her there. She stood me up but kept texting me wondering where I was. So I looked for her frantically. Despite having that feeling in my stomach she was messing with me. I attended the concert alone. Tried to enjoy myself. Felt bad. Cried a bit on the way home. Was a really bad day. Also sent her the meanest text I've ever sent anyone. It was along the lines of, "I hope all of your future endeavors are met with failure, I hope your children grow up to hate you, I hope you find yourself in the crushing despair of your own miserable choices."

I hated her for ditching me and leading me on just out of malicious intent.

aditya-chinchure-494048-unsplash-300x225.jpgPhoto by Aditya Chinchure on Unsplash

47. What Was Your First Red Flag There?

I went on a Tinder date with a guy who took me to his favorite spot by a lake. So we're hanging out, I'm a little sketched out, but he promises that he comes here all the time and never sees any cops. Sure enough, a few minutes later a cop car comes driving by, the officer smells *ahem* greenery, and long story short we both get arrested. I never spoke to him again.


46. Blinded By The Light

I was recently on holiday and decided I would jump on Tinder to suss out the local talent. I matched with this guy who seemed pretty attractive and we talked for a few days and discussed catching up for beverages that never eventuated.

Towards the end of my trip, I chatted with him briefly and he explained he was going away the following day but I was more than welcome to come over to his apartment. Despite having apprehensions about going to a complete stranger's apartment in a foreign country, I decided to go.

Nevertheless, everything seemed smooth when I arrived at his house. He was charming, good looking and talkative. We got talking and one thing led to another and before I knew it we were making out in his lounge. Things escalated rather quickly and got hot and heavy and I decided that this was okay as I was on holiday and would never have to see this guy again.

Whilst things were in the heat of the moment, I looked at his laptop which was located 3 meters from where the activities were taking place and realized the green light for video recording was on. To say the least, things came to a sudden end and the police were nearly involved. I've decided to take a sabbatical from Tinder for the meantime.

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45. Long Train Runnin'

This happened a couple of years back. I just recently moved to Perth, Australia from the UK. A new friend pointed me towards Tinder for meeting girls. I started speaking to this short, white, redhead who was a geek, like me. We were hitting it off really well, and after about 2 weeks of talking, she was comfortable enough with me that she wanted to meet. We arranged to meet at a bar in Perth City.

I arrive first, find a table and text her to see if she would like a beverage. I purchase the drinks and wait, but she is running late. Fifteen minutes later, a middle-aged Asian lady sits down at the table and introduces herself as the girl I have been talking to. Puzzled by this turn of events, I show her the picture of the girl I thought I was talking to. She looks at the picture, then at me and goes, "Yes, that's me," and starts talking about how nice it is to finally meet. Being British, I don't like to make a fuss, so I nod and smile.

I talk awkwardly for a couple of minutes while trying to find the ringtone select on my phone. I press it and pretend to get a call from a friend in need of help. Say my apologies and run to the train.

Later that night I thought it may have been a joke or a test. We never spoke again.



44. Speaking In Tongues

I invited a guy to my favorite place, the zoo. It was going well, but shortly after arriving, he ate a pretzel and almost bit his tongue off. He began bleeding for the next couple of hours (YES HOURS) and spitting out blood. I looked at it and half of his tongue was swollen and puffy. It looked horrible. He then "tried" to eat a hamburger and his eyes just displayed the pain. He tried to kiss me multiple times but my ninja-self dodged the gross-looking mess he had going on. Great sport. But it didn't work out.

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43. Exchanging More Than Numbers

I had a guy engage in some criminal activity on a Tinder date. We were at a bar, he excused himself outside, was gone for a while, so, I went out and there he was chatting with some random dude about illicit substances. It went on for about two hours before actual contact info and objects were exchanged. Really awkward and nightmarish.

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42. Family Is Priority

My Tinder horror story is also someone else's Tinder horror story.

So I downloaded Tinder this fall for fun. Now, I'm a good looking guy, easily 8.5/10. Within about a month of swiping, I had 100 matches, but I had only messaged about 1/3rd of them and hadn't gone on any dates yet. I was hanging out with my best friend and her cousin that I had never met before that day. We were laughing at the profiles of some girls I hadn't swiped yet. Then, suddenly. Cousin: "Swipe right" Me: "What?" Cousin "That's my girlfriend. Swipe right."

So I swiped right. Matched immediately. He sent a Snapchat of the match screen to her. They broke up within the hour.

And that was the day I deleted Tinder.

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41. Supermarket Flowers

I went on a date with a guy from Tinder. I quickly realized he wasn’t my type, but decided to just go with it for a while. Half an hour into the date, he asked me if I wanted to have a beverage. I left early. A week later, he sent flowers to my work with a cheesy poem confessing his love for me. I worked in a coffee shop in the middle of a busy shopping center. I never even took them home, I was sooo embarrassed. I never spoke to him again.

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40. Robbing Her Blind

I'm new to the country, so I'm kind of low on social activities. I have a few friends from work and that's it, so I decided to give it a try on Tinder.

I hooked up with this girl who was a bit older than me. We met for a dinner, she said that it was weird to meet someone online, but eventually, we hit it off. She was a good looking girl. Smart, funny, things were beginning to look better. Eventually, I met her friends, she met mine and everything was cool; seemed like it could be something after almost 2 months.

But then she had like the worst week ever, problems at work, with family, some burglars broke into her house and stole her TV and other things, her car broke, it was awful. I was trying to be supportive and offered to help her with whatever I could, and started to text her more often. The next week she went on vacation and I never heard anything else from her. I texted her twice, didn't get a response, and then she blocked me; it seems like she thinks I was involved in the robbery or something.

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39. For The Workforce

I got matched with this guy and we started talking about work. I'm part of the recruitment team and facilitate the final interview. Two weeks later, my colleagues approached me with a pestering smirk and asked, "So do you know our applicant for today?" It took me a while to realize it was him. Now I'm the girl known for recruiting new associates through Tinder. But hey, talk about innovation, huh?

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38. Meeting Again For The First Time

A few years ago, I was dating this girl and her father REALLY hated me. Which was a bit odd as most parents love me (or at least lie about it really well). He was just a huge jerk and I always called him out on his stuff. Anyways, her parents got divorced, we broke up a few months later, etc. etc.

Fast forward to around a year later. Me and the girl from Tinder were dating for a few months and things were starting to get serious. We're at the point where she wants me to meet her family. Mother, stepfather, little sister. Why not? I have no problems meeting them, "Let's do it," I said. She told me how excited her stepdad was to meet me, and as it turns out we both happen to be Kansas City Chiefs fans.

Well, screw me if it wasn't the same jerk father of my ex-girlfriend...

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37. Like It's Her Birthday

Buddy of mine hit it off with this girl and after a few days she invited him over to a house party. "Sure," he says, what could go wrong? He shows up and is introduced to a few of her friends, all guys. As the night carries on, more and more guys show up and very few girls are actually at the party. After they start talking about how they all know this girl, they find out that she invited them all from Tinder. Every guy was there not to hook up, but to populate this chick's birthday party.

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36. Five Star Review

Showed up to the restaurant, waited about 30 minutes. Ordered myself some food and was about to leave when he texted me: "There's a booze store across the street from the restaurant, can you pick me up some?"

I told him I wouldn't. He says he's decided to play frisbee with his dog instead. Deleted app, went to store, picked up something for myself, and went home.

He texted me for a month or so after to tell me he's just bought tickets to see me dance (I'm a retired ballerina, haven't been in anything for a few years). Then he texts me an hour after and tells me how great I was on stage. I never responded.

Dating is too confusing. I'm all done.

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35. Paper Planes

I started talking to this really sweet guy for about two weeks and things were going well. Then I started getting calls from this girl who he claimed was his crazy roommate that was in love with him and kept trying to get him fired from jobs. Turns out, she wasn’t the one lying, she was actually his live-in girlfriend, and they had moved here together from a different state. Apparently, he wasn’t actually a citizen and was trying to obtain papers. Thanks, Tinder.

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34. Written On The Subway Wall

I needed a date for Passover dinner with my friends. He wore a vest and a newsboy hat, then introduced himself with a bow and a hat flourish.

The night only got worse from there. He refused to eat any of the food because "things on the plate were touching." (It was soup.) He also wouldn't shut his mouth during the 12 minutes of seder. When it came time for his train home, he purposely missed it so he could stay the night.

NOPE. After a movie with uncomfortable levels of closeness, I convinced my friend to come with me to drive him to the nearest train station. During the ride, he thought this was the best time to tell me he was schizophrenic but didn't take medicine because "it was the devil." He tried to hold my hand saying that they were small and made him feel very sketchy to me.

The night ended with him telling me he was going to poop on the subway and write my name in it.

There was no second date.

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33. Check, Please

I met up with this guy I had been talking to for a few weeks. Tall, dark, and handsome, originally from Turkey, world traveler, etc.

Anyway, we meet up for sushi and things are going great, tons of stuff in common, and then it was like a PSYCHO switch flipped. He started talking about how now that we were going out, I couldn't wear nail polish because he got weirded out holding hands with someone who wore nail polish and how he wanted to have a daughter but freeze her in time at the age of 4 so that she'd always be a Daddy's girl and love him forever, and how when we got old we'd have to do it with the lights off since I'd be unattractive and just went on and on.

I literally just stared at him speechless and tried to get through the date expecting, at the very least, a free meal. But nooo, no free meal. In fact, a more expensive meal. This guy had the nerve to ask the waitress to split the check when he ordered twice what I had! We paid, I stormed out, and never talked to him again.

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32. Roll On

I messaged a cute blonde girl one day, got a response, and after a while of back and forth making each other laugh and getting along, I mention I'm in a wheelchair, and suddenly she was losing her mind talking about our future and how she wants to explore places like Australia and I wouldn't be able to do that with her because of my wheelchair.

I let her go on for a while to see if she'd ever bring it around to a normal person's thought process but it never happened. She lost her mind.

seth-kane-406462-unsplash-1-300x200.jpgPhoto by Seth kane on Unsplash

31. Hillbilly Rock

I had been on a couple of dates with this girl that I met on Tinder and learned that she was really into the rockabilly scene. I found out that a local nightclub was hosting a rockabilly-themed night and so I took her. She had dressed to the nines and we were having a great time in the club.

Suddenly this guy accidentally spilled a drink on her 50's style dress. The guy apologized profusely. She storms over to grab her coat and bag and on the way out she just punches the guy in the face. Everyone in the club was shocked.

I took her outside and told her she couldn't react like that and that's when she took her heel off and hit me square in the face for "siding with the guy." Blood everywhere. I never answered her calls after that.

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30. A Reasonable Excuse

I met this guy on Tinder and we had a couple of really fun dates. I was pretty into him, so on our third date, I decided I wanted to get intimate with him. He took me out for a really nice date and then he invited me back to his place for a drink. One thing led to another and we started making out on his couch, fully clothed.

But this lasted FOREVER. I didn't want to make out the whole night. So I decided to take matters into my own hands and I took off all of my clothes. Then he sits up, still fully clothed, and looks at me, and says, "I can't sleep with you, I have something." Possibly the most awkward moment of my life. I tried to be super nice about it, but I promptly got dressed and left. And as many of my friends have pointed out, I am extremely grateful that he told me.

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29. And The Lady Will Have The Salad

En route to the worst date ever, this guy texted me from the burrito place we were meeting to tell me he’d already ordered me the salad. I repeat: SALAD. At a burrito place. Also, was this the past? Was I now incapable of placing my own food order?

Anyway. After arriving, with my salad ready, beside his plate of tacos, he spent the next half an hour telling me about his model ex-girlfriend and how passionate their "breakup" had been... last weekend. The final straw was when, even after telling him I wasn’t a big fan of smoking, he literally asked a stranger for a light and then chain-smoked them beside me.

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28. Don't Tase Me, Bro

I went on a Tinder date and as we are walking to get drinks, she tells me (not asks, mind you): "You are going to walk me to my car." I say, "Okay." And then she says, "I have a taser" and pulls it out and turns it on. I assume in order to make sure I didn't try any funny business? Regardless, at that point, I told her it was nice to meet her, but I didn't want to continue and said goodnight.

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27. I've Got A Perfect Puzzle For You

I met a girl and she seemed pretty cool. She worked for a popular internet magazine that produces popular lists and starts with a B, so I thought we would get along.

She shows up 20 minutes late for our date because in her words she moved into her place 2 and 1/2 months ago and she hadn't done laundry yet (but she did mention she did have a ton of undergarments) so she sent her clothes out using an app and they had just returned the wrong person's clothes and she had to look through their stuff to find something she could wear (yes, that means she wore someone else's outfit to our date).

She also showed up in an ungodly amount of bronzer, bright green eyeshadow, and blue mascara giving her the appearance of an Oompa Loompa (did I mention our date was at a coffee and chocolate shop known for its hot cocoa?). I made up an excuse and took the long train ride home.



26. Froyo Yolo

I met my Tinder girl at the train station and she wasn’t the most talkative of sorts, but I maintained conversation all the way up to the bar we’d agreed on earlier. Only when we got there, she refused to go in, saying she didn’t like “the look of it.” We carried on down the road with me maintaining most of the conversation, and we passed nine more bars that she didn’t like the look of either.

By now we were walking in near silence, so I steered our walk back towards the train station, ready to call it a day and head home. But suddenly, my Tinder lady stopped and pointed at something, saying “That’s what I want, I want to go there.” It was a van selling frozen yogurt. I no longer like froyo.

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25. Kisses Of Fire

Went on a date with a shy Armenian girl who was new to town and didn't know anyone. No big deal, I'm friendly.

She's shy, and to loosen up, she starts having some beverages, but she doesn't stop. So after a while, she is inebriated. Dancing on the tabletops. I want to leave her, but I'm not a scummy guy and it doesn't feel safe. She ends up wanting to bar hop, so we do. I convince her not to have any more drinks.

She starts making out with random guys. Is she their problem now? No, she still has me escorting her around. Makes out with a bartender, etc. Now we make it to a new spot, she's making out with a guy full-on and I run into my ex with her current boyfriend.

Yeah, my date started making out with her boyfriend's Rugby teammate. I ended up awkwardly hanging out with my ex while my "date" left with the teammate. She ran into me again days later and was very embarrassed.

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24. Cry Me A River

The first date, she tells me I've already ruined the night because I chose to sit on the bar side of the restaurant. The second date, she got us kicked out of my favorite restaurant for yelling at 2 guys wearing Pats jerseys. Not a Pats fan, don't really care.

Two weeks go by, she calls crying because I didn't call her on my birthday. I agree to a post-birthday lunch date. I tell her I'm not interested in continuing seeing her, she runs to the bathroom crying (this is date 3, I don't even know her last name). I take a bite of her sandwich. Pay for lunch, walk home.

This is 1 of 3 awful Tinder experiences, I'm not sure I'm ready to try again.

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23. A Snappy Reaction

We meet up, she's really pretty, seemed really cool. We hang out a couple of times, hook up a little. She seemed really into me. A couple of weeks go by, then a friend of mine died unexpectedly, and my grieving process usually involves me holing up for a little while to just be miserable by myself.

I told her what happened and that I needed to be left alone for a little bit. She texted back saying she was so sorry and that she wished she could come hold me.

About 26 hours later, I text her just saying goodnight. I woke up the next morning to a response along the lines of "lol, wow, seriously? I've lost interest. Maybe if you get your stuff together in a couple of weeks you can come back and maybe we can try again."

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22. Play 'Free Bird!'

My first Tinder date was interesting. We went for curry at some Japanese restaurant, went for a walk in the park, I bought some macarons. It went well enough to warrant a date to the fair, and that went well enough to get her to come over to my place.

So, we decided the best thing to do was play guitar, make homemade egg rolls and watch Napoleon Dynamite. The egg rolls went over well, and we got the movie going on. We eat up, I set away the dishes and I take my seat next to her, trying to get closer and closer.

Eventually, we're next to each other and I slowly start leaning onto her shoulder, which she pointed out. I scoot away taking it that she didn't want to be so close, to which she says "yeah that's right, just go all the way over there away from me." Jokingly, I agree and decided to throw the covers that were on the bed behind us, between us. Unfortunately, I forgot we played with the guitar and I decided to put the guitar on the bed. At that point, the guitar fell with the covers and hit her on the head.

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21. Mirror Image

It was our second date, I was pretty into her and the first date was really good so I was expecting a great night.

She suggested we go to a favorite bar of hers, have a few drinks, and chill out. When we get there, we discover a load of her friends sitting around in a group. She introduces me and sheepishly mentions we met on Tinder. This gains me a few weird looks. One guy (who happened to look quite like me) reacts a little more obviously than the rest.

My date introduces her friends and goes off to get drinks, leaving me to the group's collective judging stare. The dude who looks like me says, "What was your name again?" After I say it, the group turn to mutter to each other. He smiles wryly and asks, "What about your full name?" When I tell him, the group erupts in laughter.

Turns out the guy who looked like me was in fact her ex... who also happened to have the same first and last name as me. Made for some incredibly awkward conversation.

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20. The Ramblin' Wreck

I went on a date with a guy. It was pretty decent. He was an engineer, pretty nerdy. He asked me on a second date, where he said he was going to make dinner for me. He makes jerk chicken, which is literally so spicy that it is inedible. I could not eat even one bite of this food.

I guess the guy was nervous or something because he wolfed down 3 huge plates of this jerk chicken in under 5 minutes. I have never seen anything like it. He didn't even talk to me, he just shoveled food into his face.

Then about 10 minutes later, he has to go to the bathroom. He is in there for about 20 minutes. He comes back out and I can see that he is super sick. He is sweating, his eyes are watering, and he reeks. He makes it for about 5 more minutes before he has to go back to the bathroom.

He went to the bathroom 7 times while I was there. The WORST part of this though was for the 2 hours I was there (most of which he spent in the bathroom) he made me watch Georgia Tech football. I hate football and I tried to change the channel, but when he would come back out of the bathroom, he would put it back on "the game."

After this, he texted me for about a month periodically to ask what I was wearing to bed. Even though I didn't answer he would just keep texting. I finally had to tell him explicitly to back off.

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19. Bluetooth Nightmare

I had been talking to this girl on Tinder for a while and we decided we wanted to meet. The problem is I had asked my roommate if I could have the room later. So when I went to sign this girl in, we have a proctor in the lobby at my university's dorms, my roommate and several other friends of mine placed a Bluetooth speaker in my room and hid in the hallway, waiting for me to get back.

I didn't see them and things started to get hot and heavy when "Let's Get It On" started playing from somewhere in the room. I started searching and after 5 minutes, while the song was finishing playing, I found the Bluetooth speaker under my roommate's bed behind his dresser. Yes, I had to move both of them. The two of us decided to call it so we threw on some clothes I walked her past all six of those jerks. I never saw her again.

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18. Weird Tattoo

We discussed tattoos and he told me, dead seriously that he wanted the satanic symbol as his next tattoo. He showed me a pic and I was like hmmm ok. I asked where. Where, you ask? His junk. He was not joking.

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17. Bearded Bully

Two years ago, I was on Tinder and matched with a guy. He was good looking and we planned to go on a first date. We never had a first date as I ended up falling for a friend and deleted my account, but before that got heaps of abusive messages from Tinder guy. Fast forward to now, been single for 9 months and decided to get Tinder again. Matched with a guy and decided to go on a date. Met him and he proceeded to tell me what a horrible person I am for rejecting him and then later sent more abusive messages. Yep, it was the guy I matched with 2 years ago. He changed his name and grew a beard just to meet me and let me know how horrible I am. Still cringe every time I think about it.


16. Guns For Hire

So I went on a date with this girl, she drove to my house and I drove her to the date. She was a bit bigger than she let on in her pictures, but that's pretty much expected. We go to a drive-in movie, it's alright. She's pretty boring overall, don't really plan on seeing her again. The movie ends, I drive to my house, say goodbye, she drives home.

The next night, I'm watching TV with my roommate. Someone calls my phone from a blocked number and says "Whatchu doing with my girl?" I had no idea what he was talking about, so I just kept saying "I don't know what you're talking about." He said "Why have you been texting her? What are you calling her about? You better not be messing with <name>." When I hear the name, it clicks. I guess this is her jealous boyfriend. He says, "I have your address, I'm going to come and set you right."

Well, that night I slept with my weapon very close by. He never came and I never heard from either of them ever again.

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15. A Terrible Way To Lose It

It happened a year ago. Met this guy. Similar interests, looked great in his pictures. We decided to meet up on a Sunday for lunch. I was so tired from a friend's Christmas party that I vomit upon arrival. He didn't seem to mind. He didn't order a drink and I couldn't order one due to how I felt.

Once the feeling subsided, I suggested we walk around and head into a bar. He doesn't like the first bar, had a "bad experience" at the next bar and keeps on passing on them. Until we finally get to his favorite bar. He orders drinks, and after a few more drinks I suggest heading to another bar. He passes because he confesses that he's only 20. And while his profile said he worked at a local college, it was a work-study position, because he is a junior there.

Maybe it was the amount of drinking, maybe it was the exhaustion, but I still brought him home. Things occurred, and I found out that was his first time. He ran away in tears and threw up on my apartment stairs. We the process once he was 21, and it was almost the same situation. Never again.

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14. The 51% Chance Rule

Matched a girl, talked briefly, and she messaged me asking me to come over and get intimate (very explicitly). We hooked up and she's obviously insane so I bail.

Months later I get called into the Dean of Students' Office. Got accused of assault. Was under investigation for the majority of a year. I almost got kicked out of school. Stuff is super messed up because they judge based on this thing called the preponderance of the evidence rule (don't know if that is widely known or unique to my school). Basically, if there's a 51% chance I did it in the eyes of the investigator, I'm guilty.

I just recently got my not-guilty verdict. Talk about relief.

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13. Not So Great In Person

So I met this guy. He was in the army and we couldn't meet each other soon enough so we ended up speaking over the phone for around a month or so. He was cute, made me laugh and sensitive. We scheduled a date for a Saturday night. I picked him from the bus station with my car when he was carrying a huge bag with him. I

didn't realize until that moment that he had planned on spending the night without even asking me, assuming it's ok because his base was closer to my house. I must say that I wasn't attracted to him at all, but I really liked his personality... As I met him in person I felt like something about him was really off.

We went to a restaurant, had an okay-first-date time, and then came along the check. I've naturally reached, I hate this tradition and believe sharing half is totally legit. He insisted on paying and handed the waitress his credit card. She soon came back to tell the dude the deal wasn't accepted by the credit company. I immediately pulled my card out and paid for the meal. No worries, it's all good, it happens. I didn't Want to make a huge deal about it.

We came back to my place, a highly unpleasant experience. I lived with my parents and didn't warn them I'm bringing a boy over. They're usually somewhat ok with that as long as I tell them before. But I simply arrived with him unannounced which caused major awkwardness.

We all swallowed the bitter pill whilst my dad interviewed him, and then we went to my room. Even when I wasn't that attracted to him, I was in this period in my life where I couldn't say no to hooking up, due to my really low self-esteem, I was grateful for every man who touched me.

In the morning I drove him to the bus and we said goodbye, it seemed like it was ok. Ever since he's dismissed all my messages and calls and I never heard from him again.

I think I dodged a bullet there

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12. Not What I Thought

So I matched with this girl by accident. She messaged me first, was super into me and wanted to hook up. We talked to about a day or so, and I was free the next night and figured we should get together. She wasn't the best looking girl, but looked cute enough in her pics for me to say "why not?" So I gave it a shot.

I go over to see her, and... yeah. She was nothing like her picture. The moment I saw her I knew I had gotten myself into a bad situation. Despite this, I tried my best to ease the awkwardness. We put on music, I asked her some questions, but it was just really bad. She was not who she made herself out to be and I honestly felt disappointed. I couldn't subject myself to this, so I created an excuse to dip out, then left.

Does doing this make me a bad person? Well, probably

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11. A Bit Too Cocky

Not Tinder, but OKCupid. I went out for drinks with a guy who was a few years older than me (he was 27, I was 21 at the time). He starts telling me he's a lawyer, which is great, but I quickly realize we have virtually nothing in common. But I decided to ride it out, as he seemed friendly enough. I asked him if there was a particular reason he was on OKCupid, which I felt was a pretty normal question, right? But he looks at me like I'm an idiot and says, "Uh. To get with women."

So I go, "Really?" "Well, yeah." "What, you can't do that without the internet?" And he says, "Well, looking around the bar right now, I see like, six girls I want to be with. (He pointedly did not look at me during this.) But it's not like I can just go up to each of them right now. So, you know. It makes it easier."

At this point, I was just laughing internally at this guy's misguided attempt to come off as a lady-killer. I couldn't tell if he was socially awkward or incredibly rude -- if he had said half-jokingly "Well, to meet girls, haha", I would have laughed at his cockiness. But the way he said it just came off weird.

So I ordered a .5L of the strongest and most expensive brew they had, let him pay for it, gave him a slow kiss to let him know what he was missing, and peaced out.

drew-hays-168905-unsplash-300x200.jpgPhoto by Drew Hays on Unsplash

10. Crazy Allegations

Hit it off with this really cute Italian girl, she was a little odd at first, but I put it down to quirky charm. She was gorgeous, and at first glance completely my type. Ended up getting intimate the first date. It was amazing. Spoilers, I stupidly let her film me. You can see where this is going. We were good for like another couple weeks or so before she had a dream where I assaulted her, and she called me and was like, why would you do that to me. I'm literally in awe, trying to explain that dreams and reality are not the same things. She's not having any of it.

I don't hear from her for about a month (we stopped seeing each other) I moved on, was actually on another date at the time. And about 7 in the morning I get a text, saying "dude go on Facebook."

Sure enough, she'd got into my account (I used her phone once for Facebook as mine had died and I needed to speak to someone) and she'd posted the video she took of me, with a massive blurb of text basically saying (as myself) that I assaulted her and I felt really bad about what I did, and that I thought I was evil. Luckily my friend caught it only an hour into it being online, so it wasn't massively widespread. But long enough for many of my close friends, boss and mother to see. Luckily they're a chill group and most forgot about it within a month or so. I'm lucky to know the people I do. It could have been really really bad.

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9. No Parents On The First Date Please

I have been on three Tinder dates, with three separate girls, and they have all been the same horror story.

For some reason, the god of Tinder has decided for me that whenever I'm on a tinder date with a girl, we will run into her parents at some point during the date. 3/3 times this happened. 3/3 times it was horribly awkward for everyone involved.

esther-wiegardt-492626-unsplash-300x200.jpgPhoto by Esther Wiegardt on Unsplash

8. One In 8 Million Chance

I live in New York City and have been on probably 30 or so Tinder dates. Once I was using Tinder to cheat on my girlfriend (I know, I know) and wound up hanging out with this girl at a bar for a few hours. A couple of days later she invites me over for something more intimate. At one point in the middle of the night, I got up to use the bathroom. I walked out and saw her roommate who looked kind of familiar, which is weird because it's a city of 8 MILLION people. Anyway, I figured it was just a resemblance.

Turns out it was my girlfriend's friend from middle school who I had met about a month or two earlier. Needless to say, that's why she's my ex.

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7. You're Not What I Was Expecting

Well, it was a lonely night and I wasn't really paying attention and just swiping right to literally every photo that came up. And after a little while, a match popped up that wasn't a fake profile. So I do the natural thing and look her up through our mutual friends that popped up and realize her name is different than her Tinder name. And then she messaged me.

We chatted for probably five minutes and then she asked if I wanted to meet her somewhere. I figured heck with it, what's the worst that could happen? She then tells me just to meet her at her house. I look it up and she lives about 15 minutes away from me but it a pretty bad part of town. I make the conscious decision at that point that I'm not going to be the guy with two kidneys that didn't have any fun this evening.

However, I hedge my bets and ask if she'll just meet me at the local bar and she agrees. I get in there and find a table but at that point, I realize I have zero idea what she looks like. Shortly after I hear "Hey cutie." When I turn to face her in slightly taken back. She's about 200 pounds bigger than she looked in her heavily edited photos and a shaved head to add to that. I wish this story has some humorous twist but it went like any other date at this point and I ended up back at her apartment. I wouldn't do it again but it wasn't the worst.

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6. A Little Bit Too Tipsy

I was out at the bar with my friends, and a woman at a table with her friends flags me down and gets me to come over. She asks "how old are you?" I tell her I'm 28, and she tells me I look much younger. This kind of puts me off, and she doesn't appear to have anything else to add, so I go back to my friends.

Fast forward to later in the night, I'm walking home, and my phone buzzes that someone has sent me a message. My phone immediately dies, so I don't think anything of it till I get home and plug it in. I check the message and realize it's her. We had matched on Tinder, a while back, and she found me. So in my inebriated state, I ask her out, she says okay, and we agree on the coming Thursday night.

So I meet her at a local bar on Thursday, and we have some drinks. She keeps mentioning she has to be up super early in the morning all while still drinking. We end up leaving this bar because she insists I have to try this beverage that the bar down the street has. Okay. Sure. So now it gets hazy. We're walking back to my house at this point. She trips. Takes us both down. I land on my bum and start laughing. She says, "I think something is wrong with my ankle."

So I look down. Her foot is not on the right way and the bone is sticking out. I sober up real quick. Call 911. Ambulance comes. Get her to the hospital. I sit with her till it's time for surgery, and then I go home.

Check on her for the next few days. Feel bad. Once she's home, she suggests I bring her ice cream. So I do. Talk with her for a bit, but after, I determine my obligations are done to this lady.

BUT WAIT. THERE'S MORE. Go forward a week and I'm at the grocery store, and I get an alert that I have a message at the end of my receipt. Okay. Sure. It informs me that the brand of ice cream I bought was contaminated with Listeria. I decide I'm not gonna say anything. Just another notch in the horror story list.

3 months later, I'm out for Mardi Gras with friends, and the bartender comes over and says "the blonde at the end of the bar bought you this". It was her! So I go over to say hi and thanks. She's still on crutches at this point. When I get over there, she says hi, and then tears me a new one for not making this re-meeting perfect, and not living up to how she imagined it. At this point, I pull a Homer, put down the drink and just back away and go back to my friends. So that's the worst Tinder story I've gotten.


5. Not Into That Kind Of Thing

When I was 21 Tinder wasn't a thing yet, but dating sites were. I scored a date with this really hot girl from Minnesota (doncha know) and agreed to go drive over to her house to pick her up later that night for dinner and drinks. When I get to her house, she pushes me down on the couch right away and starts pushing herself on me, and then suddenly changes moods quickly, hops up and asks where we are eating. A little weirded out by the experience, but I'm hungry and we did agree to dinner and drinks.

So we get a bite to eat and a few drinks each and are back at her house. She leads me to her room and we are fooling around, shirts off, and she tells me to cover my eyes. I comply, and when she tells me to open them again, she is holding a massive string of beads. I'm talking 10 beads, each larger than the last. The only thing I could think to ask was "are those supposed to be for me or you?" She indicated that she had toys enough for both of us and got very upset when I told her I wasn't going to use them. She got insanely angry about it, so I ended up just booking it out of there.

jernej-graj-656668-unsplash-300x200.jpgPhoto by Jernej Graj on Unsplash

4. Having A Great View

I'm 24 and this was about a year ago. I'm from Boston and live downtown right now and got matched with this lady visiting from France. She's blonde, like 32, pretty hot, so why not?

I go meet her at one of the nicest hotels in Boston, we have a really expensive fancy dinner (she paid), then we go up to the top floor suite. The room was unreal and had a lot of different rooms and hallways. We go to a bedroom and sit on the bed. Forgot to mention she hardly speaks English, so we're not talking much, about to start hooking up.

I then hear a door open and close and footsteps coming down the hallway. This short, fat guy walks in the bedroom wearing nothing but a white bathrobe. He sits down on the couch facing the bed.

I didn't know what the heck was going on and was obviously pretty nervous at this point. I asked her what was going on, and in broken English, she told me that he was her friend he wants to watch us get intimate. I ended up leaving.

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3. Body Image

My first time with a woman was with this Tinderella who I then found to be a little unhinged. We had met once or twice before and had hit it off and I hadn't run into any particular red flags at that point. I decided to invite her up to my place for Ghibli movies and chill.

One thing led to another, and afterward, Less than 10 minutes later we were cuddling and messing about various things, and somehow my goal to get below 200 lbs came up (I'd started counting calories and such at the beginning of the year when I realized I had hit 240lbs. At the time this happened I had lost 29lbs and was in the home stretch).

Immediately she started into a tirade about how obesity does not necessarily mean that one is unhealthy and that there are all these weird conspiracies surrounding the government and food industry concerning body image and whatnot. Though not necessarily one of the biggest regrets of my life, it was one of the fastest I've acquired.

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2. Doesn't Get More Cheesy

Once upon a time, I matched with a girl whose bio said, "Sucker for cheesy jokes! ?." So I thought I would lay this classic baby on her, "How much does a polar bear weigh?" I guess we had a different sense of humor because her response was a little bit colder than the Ice that innocent polar bear was standing on; "Enough to break the ice dummy." WELL ALRIGHTY THEN

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1. Handing Her Off

This girl hit me up and we ended up going out to a club with her and her roommates who were all male and way older than her. In the middle of the date, she started getting frisky with one of her roommates. This was after she and I had made out for a bit, too. I walked out to the porch with some beverages for everyone and caught her sitting on his lap, which I thought was strange but I was inebriated enough to let it slide. Then later she all of the sudden started holding hands with the guy. When I asked what was up with that, the roomie went, "Oh, don't worry about it, we're just friends, this doesn't mean anything."

I was pretty out of it at this point, so I think I just mumbled something and walked off without even saying goodbye. First and last Tinder date for me. It still weirds me out when I think about it.