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Take a moment to think about this scenario: Imagine it's lunchtime when you decide to go out for a walk on your own. You start feeling hungry halfway through and decide to head home. On your way back, you pass by multiple delicious-looking restaurants all open and ready to serve you. Do you go in and dine alone? If you immediately answered 'no' in your head, don't worry, you're definitely not alone in this.

When you were imagining yourself in this position, how did you feel? Did you laugh at the idea, or maybe scoff? Or did you perhaps twitch in anxiety at the thought of doing such a thing? Sadly, the reality is, most people will answer 'no' to this situation because the idea of eating alone at a restaurant is often a rejected one. Why that is, though, is a lot more complex than you'd think.

Worried About What Others Think

The truth is, what tends to drive us away from eating at restaurants by ourselves stems from our (irrational) inner fear of being judged. We always fill our heads with nonsensical, worrisome thoughts that make us believe other people will laugh at us, make fun of us, or spread rumours about us when we do something that isn't 'socially accepted.' Unfortunately, eating alone falls outside that social norm.

Because we view going to restaurants as a social activity, we think the opposite when we go alone, that we're being 'unsociable.' So much so, that we begin to stress that we look lonely, sad, or even unapproachable to everyone else in the establishment. Even though everyone else is likely a stranger we'll never see again, in our eyes, what they think about us in that moment becomes all we've ever cared about.

And when we get so caught up in all these negative emotions and thoughts, do you think you could possibly enjoy the delicious meal in front of you? Again, the answer is likely (and sadly) no, which makes the whole idea of eating alone even worse. If the food doesn't even taste good by this point, it makes you think, "Why even do it?" Suddenly, we've transformed the simple act of enjoying a meal into something far worse and more anxiety-inducing than it needs to be.

The Spotlight Effect

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Something that further heightens our fears and worries when we're concerned about others judging us is the Spotlight Effect. If you've never heard of this before, this term simply describes the feeling you get when it feels as if everyone has their eyes on you (even if in reality no one is watching you). You tend to experience this when you feel hyper-aware of yourself, which happens more often when you're doing things on your own.

When every little action you do feels like it's being taken into account, all it does is make you self-conscious. Which is why this goes hand in hand with our fear of being judged. If you choose to go to a restaurant alone, you might suddenly feel as if there's a giant, burning spotlight flashing right above your head. You're likely thinking to yourself, "Everyone notices that I'm on my own."

People around you are simply enjoying their own meals, but you may begin to question whether they're gossiping about you. Someone might make eye contact with you for a brief moment, and suddenly you feel that it was a look of judgment, not just a random meeting of eyes. In other words, everything that everyone else is doing will suddenly feel as if it's all about you.

Not Built For Solo Dining

Sometimes it has nothing to do with how we feel inside and it all comes down to external factors! If you think about it, many restaurants in America aren't exactly built to be solo diner-friendly. Most tables are fit for multiple people, and there's no way you'd want to be seated at a big booth all by yourself!

Not to mention, some servers might make you feel extra rushed if the restaurant is packed and busy. This is because when they're looking to free up some tables for the long line, they're going to be looking immediately at you as the only person there! And there's nothing worse than feeling like you have to race against the clock, especially when it comes to enjoying your food. Just remember it has nothing to do with you, it's a numbers game at that point; it's easier clearing a table with one person versus five.

Regardless, these factors can still ruin your dining experience. And when you're already paying a hefty price for a nice meal, being forced to feel anxious because you're dining alone can make the whole thing feel like a waste of your time and money.