We’ll Just Eat More!
Your taste buds don’t know you’re rich. If you’ve got money in the bank you’re still going to bake that addictive cookie dough–– you’ll buy more tubes! From microwaveable dinners to cheap childhood snacks, there are some foods you’ll never give up–– you just might upgrade them.
1. Kraft Dinner
The Barenaked Ladies band wrote a song about it. If we had a million dollars we would still buy Kraft Dinner, just more of it. Wealth won’t crush the cravings for mac & cheese or make us less lazy. Boxes of KD will have their own cupboard.
2. Hotdogs
We’ll just grill the wieners on our gigantic BBQ or buy the premium jumbo dogs. We can top our hotdogs with Dijon mustard and gourmet condiments, sandwiching them between brioche buns.
3. Instant Noodles
Instant noodles are probably the cheapest meals at the supermarket. With a vast variety of delicious flavors, we’ll taste them all. Why would you ever give up this belly-warming comfort food that’s extremely easy to make?
4. Cereal
It’s known to be Seinfeld’s favorite breakfast food and we all know how rich that funny guy is. The price of some cereal nowadays would make you think it’s for the rich. Either way, we’ll be eating Cheerios with our silver spoons forever, thank you.
5. Canned Soup
There’s nothing like tomato soup on the side of your grilled cheese sandwich. Canned soup is satisfying and quick, perfect for cold and flu season. There’s a reason the Campbell's Soup artwork by Andy Warhol is worth more than a castle.
6. Chili
A big bowl of chili is an essential part of the poor man's diet and we’ll make it a part of a rich man’s diet as well. It’s a filling one-pot meal you can make entirely from canned food if you want. It’s also rich in all the food groups.
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7. French Fries
Just because you’re rich doesn’t mean you can ever replace french fries. They’re the most favored side for a burger after all. Maybe you’ll upgrade your fries to poutine or truffle fries and get additional onion rings.
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8. Chicken Nuggets
Your wealth will not hide the big kid inside of you. Chicken nuggets are the guilty pleasure food of children and grownups alike. You’ll stock up one of your extra freezers with boxes of these delicious nuggets.
9. Pop Tarts
You’ll never stop popping these artificial delicacies in your toaster. You’re rich, you can do whatever you want like have dessert for breakfast. Pop tarts look gourmet with their icing drizzles and colorful sprinkles.
10. Peanut Butter & Jelly
No matter how rich you are you can’t resist a good ol’ PB&J sandwich. Maybe you’ll be spreading your Wonder Bread with organic peanut butter and jam made from the world’s rarest fruit, but it’s still considered a poor man meal.
11. Freezer Lasagne
Lasagne is a fancy Italian supper we’ve Americanized with the pre-made frozen version. We don’t care, it’s delightful. It might look cheap, but it still pairs well with a bottle of vintage merlot.
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12. Baked Beans
You can’t have a full breakfast without your side of baked beans, every bachelor knows that. A can of beans accompanies your fried eggs or is eaten on its own as a protein-rich snack. It’s undeniable that rich men will forever be cracking open cans of baked beans.
13. Rice Dishes
Rice is known as one of the most affordable grains on the market. This cheap grain is a part of numerous tasty dishes that you could never give it up. Maybe you’ll upgrade to the organic brown rice and have it in your freshly caught sushi.
14. Toast
Toast might look a little different when you’re rich. You’ll slather it with expensive butter and put heaps of gourmet jam on top. Maybe you’ll be toasting bread made with Caputo flour but toast will always be a part of your diet.
15. Microwave Nachos
When you melt shredded cheese on top of tortilla chips in the microwave you’ve got “lazy nachos”. As a wealthy person, the only difference is that you’re fine to sprinkle the entire bag of cheese in one go. You’ll have plenty more bags of cheese to zap future nachos in the microwave.
16. Popcorn
You’ll be snacking on popcorn in your private at-home cinema while you watch your endless collection of movies. You’ll be popping it from your custom-made popcorn maker that was designed like an antique and drizzling it with melted butter and Himalayan sea salt.
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17. Grilled Cheese Sandwich
Your grilled cheese sandwiches could be oozing with any melted cheese you desire. Maybe you’ll have a grilled Camembert and Swiss or a smoked cheddar and havarti. You could have a grilled cheese sandwich every day and try a different cheese each time.
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18. Canned Tuna
If you’re a tuna fan then you won’t be giving up this canned fish any time soon. Your shelves will be stocked with the best quality tuna fish there is and your personal chef will be making you tuna sandwiches whenever you please.
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19. Frozen Pizza
The frozen section at the grocery stores are packed with frozen pizzas for a reason. North Americans can’t get enough of the freezer pies and if you’re rich you won’t have to wait for them to go on sale.
20. Burritos
Whether you’re hitting up a burrito joint or creating them at home, burritos are comforting meals wrapped in a tasty blanket. You could just buy a food truck that parks outside your door and have a burrito any time of day.
