Bring Back the Blazing Bourbon
A lot of people complain about Panda Express. Oh, it’s not authentic cuisine. It’s too salty. It will probably send you to the toilet. We can agree that those are all valid complaints, but this popular chain also brings us some of the best fast food dishes! While they’re not all made equally, we’re here to break down the best and worst options from everyone’s favorite spot.
1. Grilled Teriyaki Chicken
It really was a toss-up between this and the mushroom chicken for most disappointing dish. However, we gave the edge to the teriyaki because of how high our hopes were! It’s easy for mushroom nay-sayers to turn their back on a dish full of it, but everyone loves teriyaki—which is why the bland, rubbery texture is so upsetting.
2. Mushroom Chicken
Not so fast, silver medal. We’re not the biggest fans of this little fungus, but we do appreciate the earthy, rich flavor it brings to classic dishes. This option, on the other hand, doused them in sauce and served a slimy concoction instead. Weirdly enough, it’s still surprisingly bland, too.
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3. Fried Rice
Fried rice is a staple side dish…but maybe not from here. When you think about a forkful of rice, you probably picture peas, sesame seed oil, soy sauce, eggs—the whole shebang. Technically, Panda Express delivers all that, but it remains an uninspired plate lacking in flavor.
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4. Cream Cheese Rangoon
Wontons are an art, and while we didn’t expect traditional dishes from American-Chinese fast food, we definitely expected something with more flavor. Turns out, dollops of cream cheese in overly crispy shells aren’t as appetizing as we thought.
5. Chicken Egg Roll
On the opposite end, we have your everyday chicken egg roll. Some people swear by this, but we’re not among them. Though we’re grateful for the oversized roll, we still think it’s a shame that there’s only one per order—and it’s a dice roll on whether they’re crispy or soggy.
6. Eggplant Tofu
We all love a good vegetarian option, but the eggplant tofu falls short in a few ways. Firstly, the ratio of eggplant to tofu is always off; most locations don’t balance out the abundance of eggplant with tasty, deep-fried tofu. Secondly, you don’t always score great-tasting tofu; some locations only have bland little pieces just sort of tossed in there.
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7. String Bean Chicken Breast
There’s a difference between melt-in-your-mouth and slimy veggies. Guess which one this is! Unfortunately, the chicken just doesn’t save those limp beans, especially with such a mild flavor. Some people might appreciate the modest ginger touch, but we wanted more oomph.
8. Super Greens
Broccoli, kale, and cabbage is about as appetizing as it sounds. We know it’s meant to pair with an entree, but you won’t catch us spending money on a handful of greens we could easily mix at home.
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9. Honey Sesame Chicken Breast
We’ve once again fallen victim to inaccurate menu photos. We saw honey in the name and sesame seeds on the chicken and thought it was a great idea—only to get served wilted beans and heavily breaded chicken that left a weird taste in our mouths.
10. Broccoli Beef
Broccoli beef is hardly the worst thing you can order, but it’s not an S-tier choice either. If you’re in a hurry, the modestly sauced beef pairs well with a few broccoli florets, and the flavor is decent enough to keep us satisfied. Just keep an eye on which location you get it from!
Alright, now it’s time we dove into the best options around. Say hello to the 10 best dishes Panda Express has to offer!
1. The Original Orange Chicken
Are you really surprised? There’s a reason the orange chicken is considered a staple dish from this chain. Crispy on the outside, tender on the inside, that perfectly-cooked chicken is complemented with a nice, tangy sauce that brings a gooey mouthful of flavor. You really can’t ask for more.
2. Honey Walnut Shrimp
Forget about the honey sesame chicken—honey walnut shrimp is all you need! Tempura batter makes it nice on crispy while the creamy sauce helps every bite melt in your mouth. The walnuts only make it better with an added crunch that doesn’t overpower the dish.
3. Vegetable Spring Roll
It’s not every day a veggie option actually tastes like meat, but Panda Express’s spring rolls get the job done. Not only are they nice and crunchy, but they’re also loaded with all kinds of vegetarian-safe ingredients like cabbage, carrots, and onion.
4. Kung Pao Chicken
Call us crazy, but we’re suckers for “clashing” textures, which is part of this dish’s charm. Crunchy cashews and tender chicken drizzled with yummy sauce? You have our vote! It’s also one of those consistently cooked options that remains tasty across locations.
5. Hot Orange Chicken
Panda Express only just released hot orange chicken, but it’s already found a spot on our plates. We’ll admit: this one’s only for the fire-eaters, but if you can stomach chili peppers and crushed chilis, you’ll nab traditional orange chicken with a lot of heat.
Michael Ocampo from United States on Wikimedia
6. Beijing Beef
Don’t worry—if you can’t handle that much spice, you can still indulge in classic entrees that turn up the heat. Beijing beef comes with a great blend of spicy and sweet, namely thanks to its touch of chili that gently sizzles your tongue. But it’s also tender and well-seasoned.
7. Chow Mein
Not everyone likes the chow mein. We can’t exactly blame them; it can be a little bland for some people. However, Panda Express nailed the consistency and the flavor, so it gets top marks from us! The noodles are nice and short, so they don’t just glide off your fork, and you get a nice mouthful of crunchy cabbage with every bite, too.
8. Sweet Fire Chicken
We couldn’t make this list without paying homage to some of the late, great dishes Panda Express discontinued. If you’re lucky, you might just find it in a few locations, but most got rid of this seemingly low-sales item that had battered chicken, pineapple, and sweet chili sauce.
9. Black Pepper Chicken
Discontinuing black pepper chicken makes even less sense to us; everyone loved it. How could you not? It had tender chicken smothered in black pepper and soy sauce, served with hearty heap of veggies. This is why we can’t have nice things!
10. Blazing Bourbon Chicken
Despite its name, the so-called blazing bourbon sauce was more the BBQ variety. It brought sweet heat to the perfectly breaded chicken and a handful of peppers and onions alongside it. It was one of the best dishes on their menu, and we miss it every day.
