You're Not Royalty
Going out to eat means letting someone else handle your meal, so naturally, you’re going to ask for a few things to make the experience perfect. But you know what it doesn't mean? Having the staff pamper you. Most requests—side dressing, extra sauce, water with a lemon slice—are fine and won't take more than a second to do, but if you're always modifying everything on the menu until it's basically an entirely new dish, don't be surprised if you get the stink eye. Here are the requests that might just earn you some notoriety behind the curtain.
1. Rebuilding an Entire Dish
Again, it's fine to ask for a few simple modifications, but changing nearly every component of an entrée is another matter. Not only does it make the order harder to take down, it also takes considerably more effort in the kitchen. At some point, you’re probably better off cooking yourself.
2. Inventing Something Off-Menu
Taking dishes across the menu and asking the kitchen to combine them into your own personal creation is another big no-no. Remember: if what you want bears little resemblance to what the restaurant actually offers, there’s a decent chance your server is going to ignore you for the rest of the night.
3. Splitting the Check 10 Ways
We get it: you eat with your friends, and everyone wants a separate bill. While splitting the check isn't inherently troublesome, things get more complicated the larger your group is. If you know you'll need to divvy everything up, give your server a heads-up early.
4. Asking for Things One at a Time
First you need ketchup, then you need another fork, then you need more napkins. See how annoying this gets? Even if you're not asking for a lot each time, stretching them across several trips can get on anyone's nerves. If you already know what you need, ask for everything together.
5. Requesting a Full Menu Recital
Your waiter might tell you the special of the day, but don't expect them to recite the entire 10-page menu to you. Go ahead and ask questions about unfamiliar dishes—just don't waste anyone's time. It's even more annoying if you do it during a rush.
6. Turning Free Water Into a Custom Drink
Water with lemon is hardly an outrageous request, but don't test the limit. Asking for several wedges, sugar, mint, and other additions just so you can assemble your own beverage creates multiple tasks for the waiter without actually ordering a drink. They've seen enough DIY water orders; they know what you're doing.
7. Asking to Rush Your Food Because You're Late
You might have somewhere to be, but that's not the kitchen's problem. Restaurants often have several tables' meals being prepared simultaneously, and they can't axe the system just to cater to you. If you're working against the clock, asking which dishes come out fastest is far better than expecting everything to arrive immediately.
8. Sending Back One Dish After Another
Restaurants should correct food that's prepared incorrectly, but repeatedly returning properly made dishes because you keep changing your mind can test everyone's patience. Think about it: the kitchen will have to remake the food, your server will need to punch in a new order, and it's a headache for everyone.
9. Fishing for Free Extras
There's nothing wrong with asking for extra bread or sauce if it's already complimentary, but insisting they should all be free is another story. Some additions cost money, and sorry, but you're not special. Pushing the server to waive every small charge can put them in a difficult position.
10. Asking for Something the Server Already Said Isn't Possible
A no is a no. If the kitchen can't prepare an item because an ingredient is unavailable or restaurant policy doesn't allow modifications, they can't do it, simple as that. Repeatedly asking your waiter to "check one more time" won't change their answer, so don't push your luck.
Now that we've gotten the annoying requests out of the way, let's flip the script. Not everything you ask your waiter to do is an inconvenience, so don't be afraid to flag them down for any of these reasons:
1. Modifying a Dish Due to a Food Allergy
If an ingredient could cause a serious reaction, tell your server beforehand. Unless the food you're allergic to is the star of the dish, this request is usually not a problem. In fact, this is one situation where you're better off being specific and asking questions.
2. Getting Dressing on the Side
Want to control how much dressing ends up on your salad? Asking for it on the side is such a common modification that it's barely a request, much less a difficult one. The same often applies to sauces and condiments, provided they aren't integral to how the dish is prepared.
3. Asking for Extra Napkins
Are you a messy eater? Whether you've ordered ribs, wings, or you're dining with children, requesting a few more napkins is perfectly fine. Just don't ask for a stack of them every 10 minutes, or your server might think you're trying to steal their whole stash.
4. Asking for a New Plate
If you see some grime on your bowl, let your waiter know you'd like a new one instead of shifting it to the side of the table and ignoring its existence for the rest of the meal. You might think it's embarrassing somehow to point dirty dishes out to them, but you're the customer, and you deserve clean plates.
5. Asking for a Recommendation
Your server knows which dishes are particularly popular, what regular customers order, and how different menu items compare. So test them; let them decide for you what you're feeling. A specific question also makes it much easier for them to point you toward something you'll actually enjoy.
6. Requesting Condiments with Your Takeout
You paid for the meal, so there's no reason to abandon perfectly good leftovers. Plus, if you've used up all the sauce for your dish, don't be afraid to ask your server for more! While you're at it, ask for some extra utensils and napkins, too.
7. Asking About Ingredients
Menus don't always spell out every component of a dish, so it's fine to want more information before committing. Maybe you simply aren't sure what comes in a sauce, and that could make or break your decision. It's better to ask away than order blindly and discover too late that the dish contains something you won't eat.
David Foodphototasty on Unsplash
8. Requesting Separate Checks in Advance
Remember what we said about separate checks? Divvying up the bill isn't usually a huge problem, but remember to tell your server at the start that your group will be paying individually—it'll prevent a much bigger headache later. It's also better to avoid creating complicated arrangements for shared items.
9. Making a Simple Substitution
As long as you're not redesigning an entire dish, swapping fries for a side salad or leaving pickles off a burger is totally fine to ask for. Restaurants vary in what they'll accommodate, but simple substitutions are common enough that there's no harm in politely asking whether one is possible. If there's an extra charge or the kitchen can't do it, though, don't push.
amirali mirhashemian on Unsplash
10. Pointing Out an Actual Mistake
If you ordered your burger without cheese and it arrives covered in it, don't eat the wrong meal just to seem agreeable. Let your server know if they've made a legitimate mistake—they'd probably prefer that over discovering at the end that you were unhappy throughout dinner.
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