Forget the Fried Pickles—No, Seriously
Most patrons know they aren’t getting the best food at a sports bar. They’re not here for five-star dishes; they’re here for the big game and frosty pints that cost way too much. However, only the best joints pair your drinks with delectable food. Let’s go through which items you should keep away from and which ones complete game day.
1. Bar Nuts
Bar nuts sound good in theory, but these bland little bowls don’t offer much except a few peanuts that have been out for hours. If you’re going to spend your hard-earned money at a sports bar, aim higher than a handful of cashews!
2. “Fresh” Garnishes
Who doesn’t like to feel fancy when they’re ordering drinks? However, sports bars aren’t really the place to exercise black-tie class. It’s a down-to-earth joint filled with hungry sports fans and deep-fried goodness—which is exactly why their so-called fresh garnishes are rarely fresh at all. You can try for that olive, but chances are, it’s been sitting behind the bar a while.
3. Jalapeño Poppers
We know it sounds sacrilege to deny jalapeño poppers, but we promise there’s a good reason. Unless you’re certain the place is a good one, you’ll likely pay a hefty price for frozen appetizers. It’s not always a dealbreaker for people, but there’s plenty on the menu that won’t send you to the toilet.
4. Steak Dinners
We don’t have anything against a hearty steak dinner—until it comes from a sports bar. The trick of these places is knowing when they bite off more than they can chew. You probably can’t trust your neighborhood bar to crank sirloins out of the park.
5. Onion Rings
Hey, how bad could onion rings be, right? Sure, they’re breaded, but they have veggies right there in the name. Yeah, that’s exactly how they get ya! Make no mistake: we’re not ordering anything healthy at a sports bar, but onion rings are deceptively easy on calories, when in reality, they’re packed with sodium and fat.
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6. Caesar Salad
The big game is on, and this is your chance to live a little! We can already guarantee that those limp leaves will be covered in questionable dressing and soft croutons, and that’s if you’re lucky enough to score bacon. There’s a reason salads aren’t a sports bar’s specialty.
7. Sour Cream
We’re not saying that you shouldn’t trust your local sports bar—we’re simply suggesting a healthy skepticism for their sour cream. Most places are slammed with customers, and you never really know how long that tub’s been sitting out. The last thing you want is to plop room-temp cream on your pierogies.
8. Calamari
Have you ever had bad calamari? Well, count yourself lucky. As for the rest of us, we know the pain of crumbled breading and bland squid all too well. Not to mention, unless you’re eating a pristine plate, the only celebration you’ll have is in the bathroom.
9. Potato Skins
Potato skins sound amazing, but they’re better at home! Most bars serve thin, bland spuds that look like a bread loaf’s heel. They can dress it up with green onion and bacon bits, but nothing will save those quasi-burned shells.
10. Fried Pickles
No fried pickles? Blasphemy! We know it sounds insane, but those little slices really aren’t worth the cost, certainly not for your health. They’re loaded, and we mean loaded, with sodium; they’re also way too expensive for what you get.
Fear not, sports fans! While a few things are off the menu, we have a good number of dishes you can—and should—still indulge in.
1. Chicken Wings
How can you go wrong with chicken wings? Though not every place has the best basket, most sports bars knock this out of the park. They’re crispy, they come in a variety of flavors, and bars usually have wing nights, allowing you to nab them at a discount.
2. French Fries
Not every sports bar has good fries; however, the ones that do serve golden spuds. There’s really nothing better than lightly-seasoned fries made to perfection alongside that deep-fried dish. We’re suckers for the crispy kind, especially ones that come with flaky bits.
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3. Bacon Cheeseburger
Just about every sports bar has a bacon cheeseburger on the menu, and for good reason! You can’t top a grilled patty with bacon strips and cheese oozing all over everything. The best thing about them is that bars know how important their burgers are, so it’s rare to find a flop.
4. Loaded Nachos
You can make nachos at home, but why would you when you can score them at a sports bar? Tortilla chips smothered in cheese, green onion, and ground beef? There’s no resisting that, and it’s another popular item that nearly every bar offers. Just make sure you skip that sour cream.
5. Taco Platter
Tacos don’t seem like the best menu item, but they’re surprisingly tasty and affordable. While we wouldn’t exactly vouch for the seafood kind, we wholeheartedly support ground beef. With a simple mix of lettuce, cheese, and fresh veggies, tacos are one of the best pairings for your pint.
6. Soft Pretzels
Who goes to a sports bar for pretzels? We do! If you’ve never indulged, we highly recommend this satisfying snack that always comes with a delicious dip. It’s simple, but it's a great way to warm up your taste buds for everything else.
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7. Pizza
We’ll admit that not every sports bar makes the best pie. The thing is, most know how vital fresh pizzas are for loaded customers, and they’ve locked in a solid recipe. You don’t need to worry about too many options, either; you’ll have your pick of the litter from classic varieties.
8. Baked Mac and Cheese
We’ll admit that it’s probably not the best idea to order this from chains or hole-in-the-wall spots. Established sports bars, on the other hand, offer perfect plates with gooey cheese and crispy noodles that always hit the spot. If you’re unsure if that bar will deliver, you can always look up reviews online.
9. Chicken Tenders
You’ll want to be careful with chicken tenders. While some places crush their recipes, others serve reheated versions that aren’t worth the money. But for bars you trust, tenders are a staple you can’t wait to burn your mouth on.
10. Mozzarella Sticks
Mozzarella sticks are another beloved appetizer, but they’re also another option you have to be careful with. We’re not fans of the terrible frozen kind—but we’d spend any amount for golden sticks with satisfying cheese pulls. And when they come with marinara sauce? Forget about it!
