Don't Ask Waiters These Questions
Most waiters genuinely want to serve you a delicious meal, as long as you're being a respectful and reasonable guest. While some questions are totally fair, others are either head-scratchers or cause headaches. Certain finicky questions can even slow down service, which puts the staff in awkward positions. So to make sure you're not making your waiter's shift a nightmare, here are 20 questions to stop asking.
1. “Can you hook us up with a discount?”
Sorry, waiters don't control how much the menu items cost, which means they can't bend the rules to give you a discount. All this does is put them in the position of having to say no before you’ve even started the meal. If you do have a valid coupon or promotion, just mention it directly so they can apply it the right way.
2. “What’s the cheapest thing on the menu?”
There's nothing wrong with watching your budget, but when prices are already laid out right in front of you, all it takes is a simple look through. Waiters likely won't remember the exact cost of everything on the menu after all. Not to mention, this question can come off like you’re challenging the restaurant’s pricing, especially when asked with the wrong tone.
3. “What’s good here?”
Yes, it's part of their job to answer this question, but it doesn't mean they like it. "What's good here?" is a broad question that demands a whole menu summary on the spot. In a rush, the server might give you a safe answer instead of a helpful one. You’ll get better guidance if you name a couple things you like and ask which is the better pick.
4. “Is that actually spicy?”
Spice is subjective and hard to gauge, as your “mild” might be someone else’s “can’t feel my face.” Servers can describe the heat level to the best of their ability, but they can’t promise how you’ll experience it. But whatever you do, don't blame the spiciness of your dish on them.
5. “Can you make it exactly like another restaurant does?”
If you want another restaurant's dish, it's better to just go there instead. Different kitchens run different recipes, prep methods, and ingredients, so don't expect the same results if the process isn't the same. It also just sounds like you’re telling them their version is the wrong one. What's a waiter supposed to do with that information?
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6. “What do you recommend for someone who doesn’t like anything?”
An impossible question with no real answer, it’s tough to help when the answer is basically “nothing.” This question often turns into a long guessing game that slows everything down. Waiters are definitely not happy when this one gets thrown their way.
7. “Can we sit at that table even though it’s reserved?”
If it's not reserved by you, then waiters are hoping you know what the answer will be. Reservations are usually tied to timing, staffing, and table pacing, not just a little sign. If you take that table, someone else’s plan gets disrupted and the server catches the fallout.
8. “Why is it taking so long?”
Sometimes the kitchen is slammed, a large party just ordered, or the chef is cooking carefully instead of quickly. Anytime you enter a restaurant, you need to carry some patience with you. After all, your server may already be pushing for updates, and this question implies they’re not doing their job when they're just trying their best.
9. “Can you split this into eight separate checks?”
While splitting the bill in complicated ways is doable in most places, it can be time-consuming and sometimes the system isn’t built for it. And when it’s asked at the very end, it leaves your waiter scrambling to get it done. Oftentimes, it's more of a hassle than a convenience, which makes it a question waiters wish they're never asked to do.
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10. “Can you pack this to-go, but make it look nice?”
When waiters are already working on a time crunch, being asked to pack food that still looks presentable just feels downright annoying. What does "make it look nice" even mean? Waiters shouldn't have to work on their food presentation skills just to please nitpicky guests.
11. “Is the kitchen still open?”
Entering a restaurant near closing or last call is already frustrating for waiters, but asking if the kitchen is still open can cause a headache. It's better manners to simply ask what's still available so that you can order quickly.
12. “Can you ask the chef to come talk to us?”
Unless there’s a serious allergy concern or a specific issue, it's best not to disrupt the chefs who are busy cooking for the rest of the restaurant. Not to mention, the waiters would be the ones forced to interrupt their groove, which they don't want to do either. If you need details, ask your server to confirm ingredients or preparation instead.
13. “Are you sure?”
When waiters hear this from customers, it simply sounds like they're not being trusted or heard. Sure, they can go double-check with the chef or manager, but this unnecessary doubt just slows things down and builds tension. It's a rude way to assume you know better than those working there.
14. “Can’t you just make an exception?”
There's nothing more frustrating than dealing with customers who can't accept being told "no." When waiters are dealing with dozens of other guests, they can't make an exception just for you. Especially if it starts to create problems with inventory, timing, and fairness. Besides, your server might want to help, but they still have to follow house rules.
15. “Can you comp this because we didn’t like it?”
If you ate most of the dish, this question puts your server in a tough spot because it just sounds like you’re negotiating after the fact. Many restaurants have clear policies, and the server usually doesn’t have the authority to remove items without a manager. So unless there was an actual problem, don't ask for a dish to be free, especially if more than half is missing.
16. “Can you take a picture of us?”
This question isn't really a problem, but just keep in mind there's a time and place. Most servers will do it, but it can be a bit irritating if they're in a time-sensitive rush. If you ask, keep it quick, hand them a ready-to-shoot phone, and don’t make it a full photo session.
17. “Can you put on the game for us?”
If you want to watch the game, it's probably better to order takeout and watch at home. Your server usually doesn’t control the TVs, the sound, or the channel lineup, and changing it can upset other guests. On top of that, they may need a manager or bartender to handle it, which adds extra steps during a busy shift.
18. “If it’s not on the menu, can you still make it?”
Just keep things simple for everyone involved: order dishes only off the menu. Off-menu requests depend on ingredients, equipment, and whether the kitchen has time to improvise. Most restaurants will want to keep things consistent for quality and speed, especially during peak hours. It's also just one of those questions waiters struggle to respond to.
19. “Can you make sure we get the best server?”
You're not going to get the happiest of servers if the first thing you ask is to have them replaced. Implying that you'd prefer someone "better" can easily come across like an insult. In many places, sections are assigned and can’t be swapped easily, and asking this question is just making things difficult for everyone involved.
20. “So, what’s the secret menu?”
Restaurants don't operate like fast food chains, and if one did, it'd be something publicly advertised. This question can turn into a back-and-forth that wastes time and only ends in disappointment. Your waiter will be frazzled and you might be upset, so it's far better to do your research before entering the restaurant if you're wanting something a bit more unconventional.
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