So Many Cheeses, So Little Time
The world is full of cheeses, and while you may already have a few that you love, there are so many more to explore. In addition to the dreamy ones you’ll want to eat every day, there are also many questionable ones that you’ll want to avoid (life is too short for bad cheese). Here are ten of the worst and best varieties so you can avoid disappointment.
1. Kraft Singles
Is this even allowed to be classified as cheese? Kraft Singles may be an American classic, but in our opinion, these neon orange squares are bouncy and unappetizing. And yes, you can say what you want about grilled cheese sandwiches, but they don't belong there either.
2. Mango and Papaya Wensleydale
If you think it sounds strange to put tropical fruit in a cheese, you would be correct. Wensleydale is a very British cheese similar to cheddar. It’s often paired with fruits like cranberries, but the mango and papaya are just a little too off the wall for us.
3. Shredded Parmesan Cheese
We’re not talking about real Parmigiano Reggiano here, we’re referring to the shelf-stable cans of pre-shredded Parmesan. It’s generally a good rule of thumb not to buy cheese in a can–this stuff tastes nothing like real Parmesan and has a lot of added ingredients.
4. Laughing Cow
Laughing Cow cheese is a portable, low-calorie cream cheese, which may sound like a nice idea, but it doesn’t hold a candle to original cream cheese. Although it’s made from a combination of real cheeses, it tastes highly processed and has a distinctive flavor that isn’t altogether pleasant.
mwanasimba from La Réunion on Wikimedia
5. Buffalo Mozzarella
Dare we call Buffalo Mozzarella overrated? We know it's considered a “nice cheese,” but, frankly, we don’t get the hype. It’s a squishy dairy ball without any flavor.
6. Lavender Cheddar
Lavender is a beautiful purple flower with a magnificent scent, and we love it any of the day of the week. But it doesn’t belong in cheese—especially when it’s a sharp and tangy cheddar, you end up with a flavor resembling soap.
7. Lemon Stilton
Call us crazy, but we think it’s an odd choice to put lemon in a cheese. The idea was apparently to create something reminiscent of a cheesecake, but we’re not sure why that was the goal in the first place. This cheese tastes horrendously bitter.
8. Roquefort
Blue cheese is a polarizing variety, and honestly, we get it; many people are put off at the sight of something molding on their plate. While we aren’t necessarily against all blue cheese, Roquefort is just too funky, stinky, and strong for our palette.
9. Easy Cheese
Easy Cheese, also referred to as “spray cheese” is a spray-able cheese product from the 1960s, and yes, it’s as unappetizing as it sounds. It never should have been invented and it’s honestly a travesty that it still exists.
10. Cheese Curds
Sorry, Canada. Although they might be good melted atop some fries in a poutine, cheese curds are very unappetizing. They’re extremely salty and anything called a curd shouldn’t be treated as food.
Now that we've covered the biggest cheese fails, let's talk about some of the stars.
1. Manchego
A Spanish cheese made of sheep’s milk, Manchego is firm with a buttery texture. It’s delectably zesty, nutty, and intense. Don't let that scare you away, though—it goes well on almost anything.
2. Beemster
Beemster is a form of ripened gouda. The aging process turns the originally white cheese into a deep orange and causes flavorful, crunchy protein crystals to form. It’s sharp, robust, and even has notes of butterscotch.
3. Goat Cheese
Goat cheese might not be everyone’s cup of tea due to its distinctive tartness, but it certainly is ours. Especially paired with honey or peaches, this cheese is a star. However, if you don't want to mix it with something sweet, you can always sprinkle it on salads instead!
4. Parmigiano Reggiano
It doesn't get more Italian than Parmigiano Reggiano. It’s firm, rich, and oh-so-good sprinkled on pasta. It shouldn’t come as a surprise that this delicacy is one of the most popular cheeses in the world.
5. Brie
What charcuterie board would be complete without this lovable soft French cheese? There are many different types of brie, but they’re generally buttery, fruity, and earthy in flavor and perfect spread on a baguette. Don't even get us started on how good it tastes from the oven.
Nataliya Melnychuk on Unsplash
6. Comté
Another cheese board favorite, Comté is a semi-soft cheese from, you guessed it, France: the motherland of cheese. It’s a little smoky, sweet, nutty, and addictive.
7. Emmental
The holy grail of Swiss cheeses, Emmental is mild but delightfully buttery, savory, and versatile. As classic as the flavor is the look of the cheese with its large holes formed by air bubbles created during fermentation.
8. Aged Cheddar
It’s hard to beat a good sharp cheddar for flavor. The crumbly British cheese is nutty and intense and leaves a subtle sweetness on the tongue. If you're going to make a grilled cheese sandwich with anything, it should be this!
9. Queso Fresco
One of the simplest cheeses is also one of the most delightful. Queso Fresco is a Mexican cheese that’s light and fresh in flavor. It’s stupendous on enchiladas or nachos and literally everyone loves it.
10. Gruyère
The Swiss know what they’re doing when it comes to cheese. Gruyère is a firm cheese that's earthy and complex in flavor. It’s amazing in a quiche, pasta, or simply eaten by the pound!
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